** Contains adult language**
The following will probably make little to no sense to most of you - especially if you aren't from Philly and don't know about the inner politics of The Circus and The King of Sandwiches debacle. But I just can't not write about this. Otherwise I will explode. And nobody wants that.
I attended my first Merchants' Association meeting on Thursday.* The President asked me and other newbies to the Circus to attend so that we could try and shed the Association of its Tammany Hall reputation and turn it into a viable reputable organization that actually did proactive positive things for the vendors of The Circus. I agreed. After all, I pay my dues to the Association and I want to make The Circus a better place and, quite obviously, make money there. So...
The following is roughly what I plan on saying at the next meeting the next time the subject of the King of Sandwiches comes 'round, because I know it will. And I know I will be pissed that my time is being wasted by a bunch of old coots who believe that they run the floor of the Circus like it's their own.
Let me just say that I do not care about The King of Steaks. And if I'm the only one to have the balls to say it - because that's what the majority of the people in this room are thinking - then so be it. The issue is in court. I was under the impression that the Association had stated its peace about the situation and that was that. Most of us have to get back to slinging our slop, not listening to your Fox News bullshit.
But just for the record, I am embarrassed that when a customer asks where they can get a fucking (let's call a spade a spade, ok? dogmeat) cheesesteak after 3 pm, I have to say Jim's on South Street ** because no one who makes cheesesteaks is open after 3 at The FUCKING PHILADELPHIA CIRCUS FOR GOD'S SAKE. AN OHIOAN SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET A GODDAMN CHEESESTEAK AT 2am AT THE CIRCUS IF THEY WANT.
This is not a class warfare for CHRISSAKES. This is not about your Two Street Union Slop Slingers versus the Penn Educated Suits who want nothing better than to see you put in your slop slingin' place. Give me a FUCKING break. In fact, you MOTHERFUCKERS - I'm absolutely certain - make more than a lot of SUITS on the Board that are allegedly causing you so much grief. Oh Poor Uze, being forced to stay open until 6. POOR YOU. You ARE KILLING MY BUSINESS. I am now convinced that the people of Philadelphia see The Circus as a lunch destination - mostly because you most popular MOTHERFUCKERS close at 3. And that includes you, You Religious Folk Who Do Biz At The Circus YouKnowWhoYouAre***.
So can you please shut up and stop wasting our precious time because we need to go back to slinging slop for the lunch crowd, you wannabe blue collar Morons.
And that's what I plan on saying. More or less.
I've been so disturbed and stressed out the past couple of days over this that I've been reduced to consuming pablum of all sorts for comfort: I bought cheese from Madame Mimolette and I told her "Please. Nothing complicated. Nothing that makes me have to think about this cheese." D'affinois, 3 1/2 year Canadian cheddar, Old Amsterdam and Petit Basque. When I got home this evening, I asked SFG (after a short but productive crying jag) if he would mind if I turned on some pretty lyrics/music pablum to listen to while I got myself wasted on Hendrick's gin. Songs about laudromats and missing school girls and dead children who play in the moors. Yes, accessible cheese and pretty music are the down comforters of my life these days.
*Google that shit. Reverse google it. Find out who I am. I don't even care!
** I told you I didn't give a shit!