W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: August 2005

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Whining & Dining

This is what happens when you have your business on a website. You're a goddamn target for lunacy. ...from an email I got regarding a potential gig:

Yes... Open now The place is open for lunch and dinner 5 nights (Wed - Sun) We will cater (but really no serious requests as yet. Keep in mind we opened 4 weeks ago) I am getting the new van I bought painted next week:

In regards to "success" I am a single medical doctor and I suppose I could keep the "idea" afloat" from the revenue generated by seeing patients but I am trying my very best to develop unique and novel ideas that will keep customers returning and happy.

I have no 3 second rule. They drop something; it goes in the garbage can. The food is as clean and sanitary as I can keep it. I REALLY insist on uniforms, gloves, hats, etc

The menu is as delicious as any I have had while traveling to various locations during medical meetings over the course of my career.
When it became clear that I wasn't going to find someone to lease the building as a restaurant, I ordered 8 books off Amazon.com and read them with a passion. I have self-taught myself some textbook type of restaurant management techniques but I know that lends no real-world wisdom.

I want a "guest chef" program (oh ... say 3 times per year) where I seek out and find some expert such as yourself and I attempt to entice them to come for one or two nights and "do-their-thing".
That will give my staff a chance to see new things, it will show the community I am trying to bring new tastes to the Olympic Peninsula, and it will be quite simply fun in my opinion. I hate stagnant and seem to constantly look for change in ideas and techniques ( in dermatology I mean, of course. And this ideology is now spilling over to this restaurant I now own.) So why can't you come visit one time?

Come visit your uncle and then drive over to Sequim and be our fancy-dancy big city pastry chef for a night. Not a bad tax write-off and something a little out of the ordinary for you --- at least to consider.

I must be seriously boring you at this point and I hunt and peck type so I will close. If I never ever hear from you again I will always be thankful that you even responded to my first email. I do recognize it as coming at you 'off-the-wall' and I do honestly appreciate your listening to me thus far

NB: I did not remove any of the punctuation.

I don't think I'd want this guy making my dinner much less removing a mole.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Pot Is Fun.

This WaPo article had me waxing a bit nostalgic about our days in the East Village. Putting aside the $2400 a month rent and the B&Ters who take over the place on the weekends, it is definitely one of the hippest, weirdest 'blue-est' places to live. It and the Lower East Side are the last bastions of relatively chainstore free living in Manhattan these days. Coincidentally, I just finished When I Was Cool: My Life at the Jack Kerouac School and I was feeling a little pang for the 24 hour bodegas, the burlesque show around the block, the corner of St. Marks and 2nd where there is no longer a Gap, and two of the more memorable loons from the neighborhood: the guy who walks around with feathered angel wings and a halo and that other guy who stalks about with nothing else but an adult diaper and a pacifier in his mouth. Sigh....

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Reason #43887 for Secession.

Via Wonkette via et al.

Is he talking about that large Irish family who lives down the block? And are they supposed to share the brain, or are they each allowed their own? Or is it a signature to an imperative statement, i.e. "Get some bread! Mom"? And by the look of his body language, that 'GO USA' sign isn't exactly a ringing endorsement. Maybe his left arm is tired from pumping his fist during the entire screening of Dukes of Hazzard. Clearly, it's more important that those nice people get themselves some gray matter. Or perhaps he wants to share his auntie's famous offal recipe? Hard to conjecture. And I think it's actually illegal to wear a flag on your head in this country these days- unless you're at a NASCAR rally in which case you get free beer. Notice the sign to the right: "Free Rick James"? These assholes are so out of touch.

Addendum: Hubby pointed out that nobody ever wanted to free Rick James. Oops. Right... Well, then that proves my point: those assholes don't know shit about anything anyway.

Friday, August 26, 2005

I Want One.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Condi & The Chameleon in the Fox Suit

Kinda reminds you of Princess Di, n'est-ce pas?

POTUS at press conference yesterday:

I talked to Condi, and there is not - as I understand it, the way the constitution is written is that women have got rights, inherent rights recognized in the constitution, and that the constitution talks about not "the religion," but "a religion."

Condi says this, Condi says that. Well, Condi said...blagh blagh blagh. Well thank the Good Lord that's what Condi says. Funny to picture this exchange as an IM.

Another good quote from the same press conference:

We've got somebody from Fox here, somebody told me?

Q: Yes, Mr. President, thank you.

THE PRESIDENT: There you are, kind of blending in.

Q: Sorry about that.

'Somebody'? That must be an avatar...But who's? Developing...

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Be Careful What You Pray For.

Well, it seemed to work the first time around and now he's at bat again. Pat Robertson, self-made arch-conservative fristian wingnut, has asked the Lord for a little divine intervention to assist in the assassination of Hugo Chavez. We can only hope (and pray) that He will taketh this self-righteous bastard away. Uh, he probably should have kept that prayer silent, since assinations are illegal and all, but whatever. Rummy was probably more pissed that there's a leak than the idea of it. So, does this mean that dear Marion would be tried before an international court of law (I repeat: whatever.) for any assassi-shenanigans?

Sunday, August 21, 2005

My iPod is Alive. And It Has Shitty Taste.

I think my iPod is related to HAL. I'm constantly finding stuff on it I know I didn't download and it's usually crap. Today, while cleaning my kitchen listening to my new highly recommended iPod Stage, the Lamest Song Ever played. It's Nothing Ever Goes Right by Salim Nourallah. If I knew how to attach a song to a blog, I'd let you listen for yourself. It was so lame it was actually pissing me off.

Now, I didn't say it was the Worst Song Ever. That would be Little Sister by Nico. This Nourallah dude has gotten some decent reviews, but there's something about his pathetic whiny lyrics and phony Dylan quacking that was seriously getting on my nerves. Who the hell does this guy think he is? He cannot get away with The Whine. And no one can get away with the following lines (as best as I could figure them out):

It's almost over before it all begins.
waah wahhh waaaahhh.

In my life, nothing ever goes right.
In my life, nothing ehhh-ver goes riiiiiiiighhht.
Nothing ever goes right.

I'm young, but feel so old.
waah wahh wahh.

This life is slowly killing you...
wahh wahh wahh wahh.

Nothing ever goes right.
Nothing ever goes right.
Nothing ever goes right.
In my life nothing ever goes right.

Apocalypse Watch: Real Estate Section

Being a new homeowner, I am obsessed with any and all things real property-related. So imagine what a pleasant surprise it was when I discovered that someone has finally had the foresight to combine luxury housing with The Second Coming of Christ! Check out 20th Century Castles, a site devoted to comfortable underground housing for the coming doom.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Maggie-GATO's new brother--Davie

I know, I know...I said I was going to name him "BLANKET," but I really don't want to be reminded of MJ every day (or any day).

I Love The French

After a 3-day migraine marathon, I'm back in the blogosphere, dispensing my wit and wisdom to the world like a broken vending machine (broken in a good you-get-it-for-free way). Since there's just too much crazy and horrible shit to cover today, I thought I'd leave you with a very interesting piece about these new vending machines in Paris that dispense books. Zoinks! WTFrancaise?! This is my favorite quote from the article:

"We knew that French bibliophiles would be horrified to see their books falling into a trough like candy or soda," Chambon said. "So we installed a mechanical arm that grabs the book and delivers it safely."

I'm not even going to bother with the snark.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

WTF: More 9/11 Hoedown

And now...from Clint Black's I Raq & Roll...Sure to be a hit at the Walk of Shame...

Finally some sanity: WaPo has decided to pull out its advertising for the DOD Dead1800 Bash. Says the event ties the war to 9/11 and that seems to be a problem.

Friday, August 12, 2005

It's Bronze Bush Bust Friday!!!!!!!

If you're anything like me, you just can't get enough of our POTUS. I love to stare into those vacant little simian eyes and make private bets with myself about whether a) he's back on the sauce; and b) he thinks he's The Second Coming of Christ. I always win. They should have reduced the price to $911.

Notice how they made him harder looking, with a shmear of Reagan for good measure. In real life, he always looks like he's about to start cracking up. Nano Lopez should be so severly maimed he can never do anything like this ever again. Ever.

Afterthought: Isn't it funny that a guy who looks so much like a monkey doesn't believe in evolution? WTF? He's the fucking poster boy for Darwinian theory!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

WTF Continued: It's For Real.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

WTF: 9/11 Hoedown? No fucking way...

This is so shameful it must be a joke. According to The Age via Kos, Rumsfeld has organized a 9/11 memorial march that ends with a performance by Clint Black on the Mall. Please, someone tell me this isn't real. PLEASE.

Sunday, August 07, 2005


Friday, August 05, 2005

It's Cute Cat Pic Friday!

Our cup runneth over with cute cat pix on kittenwar.com. So many kittens, so little bandwidth.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Who's Your Daddy?

I admit it. I really dig Tucker Carlson's new show. His Libertarian leanings are annoying and baiting, but at least he's got a real liberal on the show, not some pansy ass Alan Colmes hoar. Last night he was chitchatting about a 'situation' in which the Catholic diocese in Oregon is fighting paying child support to a woman who was inseminated by a seminarian. Now the FOB's a priest, and because he took a vow of poverty, he can't pay! The state has to pay for the poor asthmatic kid's care. Oh, and the best part is is that the Church is blaming the mother for not using contraception. Jesus H. Christ.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


The ever so brilliant wordsmiths at the Bush Palace have decided to drop the use of "War on Terror" to "Global Struggle Against Violent Extremists." The wha??? Global Struggle Against Violent Extremists, I said. Duh. Globalstruggleagainstviolentextremists. Say it 5 times fast - if you can even remember it...right....and all of the people dying in Iraq are 'crossing the rainbow bridge'?

Monday, August 01, 2005

To Everything There is a Season....

Due to an unfortunate series of events, young Pablo had to go via the Underground Cat Railroad to a new home where he will be safe and secure. We know he will be excrutiatingly happy with his new parents who will love him like no other. We'll miss him very very much, but are comforted by the the fact that he'll get unconditional doting and spoilage. [little tear, sniffle sniffle] Thanks guys! You can keep his fleece...he likes to chill on it.