W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: May 2009

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Meme Fit for an English Major.

Shamelessly ripped from Lara via Flurrious via Monkey or something like that.

1. What author do you own the most books by?

Philip Roth for a total of 10.

2. What book do you own the most copies of?

I own 3 copies of TimeOut Amsterdam (different editions). Does that count?

3. Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?

Not really. I figure blogwrite is like speaking aloud. It has a different, more fluid set of grammatical rules.

4. What fictional character are you secretly in love with?

Apparently the arrogant, neurotic/orally fixated protagonist in all of Roth's books. Additionally, I'm going to steal Rob from High Fidelity from Lara as well.

5. What book have you read the most times in your life?

Probably Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl (assigned in high school and have read it many times since) followed by Portnoy's Complaint (college senior thesis). And probably The Chronicles of Narnia as a kid. Before I knew it was a Jesus parable.

6. What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
The Chronicles of Narnia mos def. And Harriet the Spy. And Are You There God, mais oui.

7. What is the worst book you’ve read?

The Kite Runner. Oh yeah. Someone oughta be waterboarded for people having to endure the torture. Ta ta da!

8. What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?

Hmmm...I really enjoyed The Russian Debutante's Handbook. Funny, well flushed out with a nice amount of pop culture references and snark.

10. Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for literature?

We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver. Mandatory read for anyone thinking of having children. Or not. That book haunts me to this day.

11. What book would you most like to see made into a movie?

We Need to Talk About Kevin.

12. What book would you least like to see made into a movie?

We Need to Talk About Kevin. Because they are sure to snip it into little pieces and that will be too frustrating to watch.

13. Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.

Can't say I've ever had a dream like that. I haven't been remembering my dreams lately but I've been waking up with this awful snappy kink in my neck and it hurts like hell all day long.

14. What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?

Hmmm...Clan of the Cave Bear.

15. What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?

One Hundred Years of Solitude. I couldn't keep track of the people and I was just not into all that dream imagery. It bored me to tears. And took me nearly 100 years to read too. Ta ta da!

16. What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?

Couldn't tell you. Too obscure.

17. Do you prefer the French or the Russians?

French. Nicer food, nicer booze, nicer terrain, nicer style, nicer quality of life. Besides, I'm Lithuanian, it is in my blood to hate the Russians.

18. Roth or Updike?

Updike! You thought I was going to say Roth, didn't ya? I'm over Mr. Orally Fixated at this point in my life. Rabbit at Rest is one of my favorite books. I cried at the end.

19. David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
Eggers to read. Sedaris to hear read.

20. Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?

Shakespeare, but only because you've given me Milton and Chaucer as my other choices.

21. Austen or Eliot?

Austen. I haven't read enough Eliot.

22. What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?

The DaVinci Code. Ta ta da!

23. What is your favorite novel?

Pnin by Nabokov. It's basically the same story as The Wrestler (saddest, most depressing movie I've ever seen, Sophie and Schindler included), about a lonely wash-up who just can't get in the groove of the human race. My love for that book comes from the same place as The Girl on the End Pew...

24. Play?

Ack. I don't know. Something David Mamet? In 1994, I went to a party at his house that one of his kids threw. Friend of a friend kind of thing. Pretty sick brownstone!

25. Poem?

I don't like poems.

26. Essay?

Ah Lara, 6 to 8 Black Men - totally hysterical. Good call.

27. Short story?

Or is that a short story?

28. Work of non-fiction?

I don't read a whole helluva lot of non-fiction, but I just finished The Fois Gras Wars and that was very interesting. Deer Hunting With Jesus was pretty good too.

29. Who is your favorite writer?

Do I have to pick one? Updike, Nabokov and Oates.

30. Who is the most overrated writer alive today?

J.K. Rowling. Sorry! I mean she's good, but the gig was over after book four.

31. What is your desert island book?

Desert island book meaning something to read on the beach? Or something that I will have no choice but to read?

32. And … what are you reading right now?

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. It's got a lotta Spanish/Catalan words the Kindle can't define, so I feel like I'm missing about 15% of what's going on but whatever, it's pretty good so far.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Horror of the Day.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Mother Always Said Don't Let Your Hard Drive Get Lupus.

Crikey what a weekend!

Friday night my trusty, dependable little laptop decides to give up the ghost. I brought the still warm carcass to Springboard Media on Saturday morning. They tried to resuscitate it, but to no avail. So now I am the owner of a quite lovely yet unexpected new MacBook. Unfortunately, however, those adorable Springboard nerds could only retrieve a pinkie finger's worth of the data that was on my old hard drive.

Springboard Nerd: "I could only get A through H. Up through Hollies. I tried to get Revolting Cocks and Thrill Kill Kult but there's a padlock on that data."

Me: "Oh, that's ok. No prob."

Springboard Nerd: "When I saw that, I said to the guys, 'Don't you remember Ministry?' and the looked at me blankly. I tried to retrieve the data. But I just couldn't."

Me: "Really, that's ok. I'll live."

I thought this was ok, since I was pretty good about backing up photos and music on an external drive, but alas, I discovered that I had not, in fact, been backing up any of it at all. Which means 400+ albums are sitting on a fried hard drive and only retrievable by a tedious $400 data extraction. Not to mention all the priceless photos. Oh. Why. Didn't. I. Make. Sure. I. Was. Backing. Up. Where. I Thought.

Oy. Oy. Oy.

On Monday, we went to a bbq at Lara's and poor Ernie almost got his face ripped off by a friend's dog. Everyone was playing nice and then all of the sudden, horrible dog noises and Ernie's head was in this large dog's mouth and he was screaming and the big dog wasn't letting go. He got a lump on his head, a bloody ear and a bloody mouth, but he is fine.

In fact, he had a internist appointment today anyway, so I made sure the vet checked out his battle wounds. Turns out, in addition to the immune-mediated polyarthritis he has, he has also been christened with glomerulonephritis. We still don't have a firm diagnosis as to why he has these conditions, but all things point to something auto-immune. He basically has lupus, people. My pug pretty much has lupus.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

What I Wouldn't Mind Being When I Grow Up.

  • Chef/Researcher in a test kitchen.
  • Event Coordinator.
  • Restaurant Manager.
  • Paranormal Researcher.
  • Internist.
  • Sommelier.
  • Psychic Medium.
  • Psychic Medium with a tv show.
  • Psychoanalyst.
  • Clinical Psychologist in a state mental facility.
  • Gift Shop Owner.
  • Professional Oboist.
  • Food Writer.
  • Travel Writer.
  • Arty Crafty Writer.
  • Flight Attendant.
  • Foreign Ambassador.
  • Critic.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Holier Than Thou.

I had a Curb Your Enthusiasm moment yesterday.

I was standing in line for the bathroom at the Circus. One woman was in front of me. All the stalls were occupied except for the handicapped stall. I asked the woman if she was waiting for a free stall.

"That one's free," I said, pointing to the handicapped stall.
"No. That's for wheelchairs."
After looking around for the hidden cameras, I said, "There's no one with a wheelchair in line...?"
"There might be."
"I'm just going to pee, not take out a mortgage in there."

Actually I didn't say that last part, but did I cut in line ahead of her to use it.

I had no idea that there were actually people out there who believe that the handicapped stall is exclusive to people with wheelchairs. Is it just me?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

And They're Off!

The madness has officially begun. I bought a notebook devoted to Planning The Wedding. We checked out our fist venue today - a lovely boutique hotel on Washington Square with a really fantastic caterer (top priority here!). Theoretically, we could rent out the whole hotel (15 rooms) for the night, which would be totally fantastic. Our guests could simply stumble upstairs after a raucous night of Beatlesmania and braised short ribs. Doesn't that sound like fun? Will you come?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

XXX: The Canary's First Erotic Cake.

Monday, May 04, 2009


I took Ernie to the internal medicine vet specialist today. He tested more extensively for tick diseases, where Ernie's blood is sent to North Carolina for testing (results in 2 weeks); for LUPUS (lupus!) and other autoimmune diseases, took his blood pressure, which is a more complicated process for animals that uses a Doppler radar than the standard human cuff, and also put him on an ACE inhibitor (turns out he is slightly hypertensive and the medication does also help glomularnephritis, the kidney issue he has). He still doesn't know exactly what's wrong with him, but I feel like we are on the right track. He goes back in three weeks to follow up on the medication and have (another) abdominal ultrasound. We may end up living in a cardboard box under the Ben Franklin, but at least Ernie will be healthy! Poor poor puppy. He is so cute it hurts to look at him sometimes.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

I Told You It's Like a High School.

By far, the entertainment highlight at The Circus yesterday was when the General Manager, with a bullhorn, announced the winners in a Circus gift certificates raffle and the grand prize went to a "Jack Mehoff", submitted by a certain person who works at a certain shop.