W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: June 2008

Monday, June 30, 2008


What's the most obvious thing to do when you find out one of your ex-employees has done a soft porn photo spread on a naked hipster website?

You pay the $20 for the month's subscription and check that shit out.

I paid my deposit for the pin-ups. I get my consultation with the photographer next week. We will discuss theme (baking, duh) and costume (make me look good). Photo shoot is in August. I'm excited!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Hopefully I Was Bettie Page in a Past Life.

I am continually trying to be a better person, to improve my skills as a woman, a businessperson, and a human being. And I'm generally willing to try anything new, unless it involves beets/milk/whole fish and/or physical pain. In a crazy act of boldness last night, I signed up to be a pin-up girl.

I read about this photographer here in Philly who does pin-up photo shoots of everyday women. I was totally intrigued. And as crazy as it sounds, I felt like I needed to do something to gain some personal confidence to get this Canary II thing going, so I decided to go for it. It's kind of the equivalent of skydiving I reckon, except you run the risk of crushing your dignity instead of your femur.

I really really hate having my picture taken. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hence the myspace-esque self-portrait up at the top. But what I'm hoping is that in the hands of a trained professional, I'll take a picture that I'll actually like of myself. It's all lighting and make-up, I guess.

I'm really excited about this. In fact, I was telling the girls at The Canary and they want us to do a whole Canary Cupcake Girl pin-up calendar. They've already mapped out each of the months' shots, including a runaway bride theme in June. Classy, ya know, leave it to their twisted imaginations. That shit would sell. And then I could retire to my chalet in the Loire. I am liking this idea the more and more I think about it.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

As The World Turns.

I still have not received my bike.

Well, I did actually, but it turned out to be the wrong size, which resulted in a several-post-dramalogue of which I will spare you, however, I did manage to finagle an upgrade for the trouble. My Smart Businesswoman Negotiation Skills were brilliant, if I may say. She will arrive sometime next week from Sunny Cali...

This bike is so awesome I can hardly stand it. Eight gears, hand brakes (SFG insists they are safer), and balloon tires for the ultimate in comfort and class. Much like a Cadillac. I'm sure it will get stolen in a matter of six minutes.

Speaking of utter coolness, The Canary was just mentioned in two posts about The Circus in two very high trafficked blogs, one of which is epicurious.com. Check it out please. There is a pic of one of my bakers holding a cookie. The other blog said that The Canary is "the cool kid on the block" at The Circus. Well, we already knew that, as we have been labeled "The Hipster Haven" by someone somewhere online and recently got a solid nod on Philebrity re the Kitchen Sink Brownies. We reek of young, intelli-urban hipness. Sometimes so it makes me uncomfortable - kitty keytar t shirt or not. I will always be the eternal outcast on the end of the pew. I am such a fucking fraud. And they will find out! Surely they will! And don't call me Shirley! See, that's what I mean!

And I just have got to share this picture with you guys. Someone was so inspired by us that they sat there, in cognito, and drew this hilarious picture of The Bassoonist at The Canary.* I love this....**

I just love it. LOVE IT.

Speaking of, I am really at a crossroads here. Where will The Canary go? Should we sell? Should we expand? OK, so then do we move the baking to another location or keep it at The Circus and transport the goods to the new, smaller, storefront? Or do we start from scratch in a new location and model it after my favorite bakery on the entire planet?*** WHAT TO DO?

*To The Artist If You So Find This: I apologize for not giving you credit. I am sadly attempting to maintain some semblance of anonymity and will happily share your deets with anyone who asks. You rock. We need to make a postie of this.

**I realize that this rendering may give away lots of deets about the shop, but hell, if you wanted to snoop, you could figure it out anyway. You're a smart cookie.

***I have been pining to hit Reykjavik in the fall. Perhaps a tax deductible trip here could satiate my wanderlust instead? This would require a really good email....

Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Greatest Idea Ever.

Seriously. Who's in?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The Hills Are Alive.

Since I've watched all episodes of The Hills on demand, I've switched over to catching up on Baldwin Hills and College Hill on BET on demand.

Right now the kids are in London on some sort of cultural exchange. Drama ensues at The Icebar (the stupidest idea for a bar EVER).

It just goes to show, regardless of race, creed, or color, that adolescents are annoying and self-obsessed the world over. We are truly One People.

Monday, June 16, 2008

My Faith in Humanity is Ever So Slightly Restored.

About a year ago, a young guy came up to me on the street near the Circus in tears, saying his wallet got stolen, did I have any money for bus fare, etc. etc. I gave him some money and went on my way.

Then a couple months later he came up to me again, with totally different sob story. This time I walked away. Turns out that was his thing, to walk around the Circus in tears trying to get bleeding hearts to give him cash. I knew several people he'd done this to.

(Mind you, I am not a completely heartless wench. I just don't like being scammed. Especially when you are a perfectly able-bodied 18 year old who is obviously intelligent enough to make a living scamming. You know?)

Anyhoo, on Saturday he came to The Canary to apologize and make amends for what he'd done. He gave me $10 and told me he was doing a My Name Is Earl thing (my words, not his) (he must be in NA), has a job now and just wanted to say he was sorry for what he'd done. This was how he was spending his stimulus check. It was one of the nicest gestures I'd seen in a long time. This is, no doubt, what George Bush had in mind when he came up with the whole stimulus check thing. I'm sure of it.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I Will No Doubt Be A Fashion Icon Someday.

Today I wore my brand new kitty keytar shirt...

I know you want one too. Get 'em while they last!

Although I don't plan on wearing them if I happen to find them on ebay or etsy, do y'all remember those barettes that had the long thin satin ribbons braided through them that hung in your hair? The fancy ones had a couple beads on the ends. I don't even know how to begin a search for these. I'm slightly obsessed with them now. I can't stop thinking about them even though they haven't reached my frontal lobe in like 20 years. Will post a picture as soon as I have some success.

(three minutes later.)

Monday, June 09, 2008

It's Hot and I'm Cranky List of Non Sequiturs.

Molly was diagnosed with probable dementia and a urinary tract infection. Poor kitty. Maybe she'll forget she's gotta go. I couldn't get to the vet before they closed to pick up her antibiotics. I feel terrible allowing her to suffer another day. I am a bad mommy.

Dear Mr. Dr. Surgeon Man on 9th and Walnut: Why do you wear your scrubs and the hat and the shoe covers on the street? Why? I hope you are not going back into the OR after downing a value meal at Wendy's or a WaWa hoagie. You don't need to dress the part. We can tell you're smart and accomplished just by the way you carry yourself.

I launched a new incentive program at The Canary today. It's called The Dirty Job Game Show, where I make a list of particularly gruesome tasks and a monetary value for doing the task. In other words, cold hard cash to get the job done, such as Clean Out Corner Cabinet Where Mouse Family is Living. $20. It's working really well so far. This place is going to be spotless in no time.

I got embarrassingly drunk on Saturday night. Some serious babbling went on. And on. And on. I was still drunk when I woke up in the middle of the night. It wasn't pretty. It's amazing what two sidecars, three mojitos and no dinner will do to a 33 year old woman.

I have a reading with a new psychic on Friday. She's a medium so hopefully she'll be able to tune into some dead people I know and give me some advice/messages from the future. I will let you know how it goes.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

A New Addition to the Family.*

This is my new Electra Amsterdam bike! Classic Dutch ride, coaster breaks, 3 speeds. Necessary wicker basket and bell to come. I pick her up next week. Isn't she sweet?

* You thought it was going to be a dog, didn't ya?

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Watch Out Pedestrians! Motorists! Hoveroundists! Dogs! Blind People!

Because I'm probably getting a bike!

I have a good feeling about this one, on which I will be able to go on Forbidden Drive with SFG. If I had my druthers, however, and was going to simply tool around the city carrying baguettes and tulips in my wicker bicycle basket, I'd totally get this one. It is 55 pounds, which I have learned is quite heavy for a bike, and apparently getting parts (such as tires), is not easy because they use odd European measurements on things. I really dig this bike though. I'd totally get it in green.

I am more than a little nervous about riding on the Streets of Philadelphia, but I suppose I've done more dangerous things than that, like flying Lithuanian Airlines, eating a Geno's cheesesteak, and watching The Hills On Demand.

God Save Me.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

From Harper's to The Hills.

I'm extremely ashamed. I hope you won't think worse of me for it.


I have been watching The Hills On Demand. I really couldn't even tell you why, but I have become increasingly addicted. I don't even like the show. It's totally uninteresting. Yet...I. Can't. Look. Away. I'm watching it right now in fact and my attempts to multitask are failing miserably. It's eye candy. No, it's worse. It's eye dust.

Jesus, these girls wear a lot of makeup.