W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: August 2007

Friday, August 31, 2007

The Bad, The Good and The Ugly.

I spent the better part of the day at The Canary today because The Bassoonist got a piece of corned beef lodged in her abnormally small esophagus and was in the hospital. She's perfectly fine and the whole thing is actually kind of amusing because the same thing had happened when I called her to schedule a job interview almost a year ago. But that time it was steak.

I am so excited!

A publisher called me and asked me to contribute a recipe to a new cookbook about coffee drinks and sweets. Yippee! The best part is that Gale Gand, my pastry chef idol, will also be writing a recipe. Yippeeeee!

(Did I really just write "Yippee"? Twice?)

I have created a peanut butter brownie topped with milk chocolate peanut butter ganache. But the ganache looks sloppy and must be prettied up before I add it to the menu.

Monday, August 27, 2007

The Circus Chronicles: Part 1432.655(a).1

Lately The Circus has been infested with rats.

(I just say it like it is, people.)

A few weeks ago, L'il JoJo saw one running into the trash room while a local onlooker looked on in frozen horror, her hands to her cheeks.

The Saturday that I was gone, poor Wee Me, my Saturday baker, who already has vermin phobia, had the pleasure of feeling something furry rub up against her legs. She looked down and then it ran across her foot. In a pair of these no less!

The Bassoonist was talking to some dude who said he thought he saw a cat in the basement. When he came closer to inspect, he realized it was actually a large rat eating a zucchini like an ear of corn.

I approached the Manager of The Circus about the issue.

Him: Are you sure it was r-a-t-s and not m-i-c-e?
Me: Uh, yeah. M-i-c-e don't rub against one's ankles.
Him: Well, I'm actually surprised you didn't notice them sooner. We've had an r-a-t problem since the beginning of the year.
Him: But I am not happy at all that they are now coming upstairs.

Believe me, I've worked in food for a while now. You can't be squeamish when you work in food because where's there's food, there's vermin. But r-a-t-s's? Really makes me think twice about renewing that lease next year.

* Thanks Bad Luck. Lo and behold I did a google image search on 'rats eat' and found the pic. And it turns out to be from a local. Yeah, "The Indy" really bit chunks. Good riddance, I say. That bar was a across between a TGI Friday's and an airport bar. Though their wings will be missed.

Friday, August 24, 2007


I've always wondered why sometimes Molly walks out of the bathroom a little glassy eyed.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

There Once Was a Girl From Nantucket...

...who did nothing but eat, read, beach, and drink Hendrick's & tonics for an entire week straight.

What a lovely relaxing vacay. We holed away at SFG's family's place and almost literally did nothing. Which was awesome. A little cooking - steaks and scallops on the grill, lobsters and fresh corn, some fine dining, lots of fancy wine punctuated by the completion of three books (THREE! Oh the life of the unemployed and trust fund types!), and spending the rest of the day at Miacomet Beach, coming home for a snooze, and then...a little cooking...and the cycle continued...

Nantucket is a funny place. At the airport in Providence we were asked our weights before boarding the 8-seater prop plane that took us to the island, which leaves one with an ethical dilemma: Do you admit to your true weight out loud in front of a sea of strangers in a public venue or do you slough off a few, hoping that CapeAir will assume that you are in fact fudging the numbers and will apply this information accordingly so that you will not plunge from the sky into the Atlantic in a flaming ball of wreckage and Dooney & Burke bags? I opted for the Fudging Theory and hoped for the best.

Nantucketeers dress like the Alpha Betas in Revenge of the Nerds. I was amazed that the Polo/madras/topsider/pastel/sweater-over-the-shoulder style was still in full force. Just like I imagine people in the far interior of Siberia are still wearing Jordache jeans and Coca Cola shirts. Maybe we can organize some sort of exchange program.

It was a most wonderful vacation. And I didn't even mind the occasional comment from SFG's mom about how wonderful having children is.

Speaking of which, SFG and I (sort of) celebrated Our First Anniversary at the airport yesterday over nachos, on which SFG had made a little flag of swizzle sticks and a napkin that said 'HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!' and plunked it right in the center like Old Glory on the moon. It was adorable.

Now back to The Real World.

Friday, August 10, 2007

I Was Abducted By Aliens Last Night.

That is the only explanation for the mystery scratches all over my right arm. If I could find my camera charger, I'd show you a picture.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

In Today's News.

I didn't fess up to the fact that I'd already seen the episode of Raymond where Marie and Debra write the family Christmas letter. Twice.

Meatman discussing The Duke of Sandwiches Drama while failing to look at my eyes: "I will keep you abreast. of the situation." Wink wink.

Woman at Canary counter: "Someone told me these were the best cupcakes in the world."

Nantucket in 3 days!

Psychadelic Chocolate Mint Brownies selling like hotcakes!

I have eczema on my eyelid.

The Duke is still slinging horsemeat at The Circus.

Goat cheese is really not so bad afterall.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Blaghdy Blagh Blagh.

Absolutely nothing interesting to report. I have been working every day straight for the past 3 weeks and AM READY FOR A VACATION.

Right, that's one week from today. Hopefully I will not lose my sanity before then.

SFG is in Havertown tonight so Molly and I are sitting around on the couch eating funky cheeses and drinking beer.

The Cheeses:
Tilsiter. Medicinal quality to it. Reminds me of Laphroaig. Excellent coupled with Serrano ham and a hunk of bread.
Vache de Chalais. Soft cheese wrapped in chestnut leaves. Yermmmmm...
Old Amsterdam. A young gouda with a lovely light butterscotch flavor.

That is all. I am tired and bored. A combination not conducive to even semi-interesting blogging.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Product Review: Sally Hansen Brazilian Bikini Wax Kit

With guts, there is glory.

  • For once, a home product that actually really truly nokidding works.
  • $9.99 compared to $50+ at a salon.
  • Eliminates awkward conversation with a stranger while you hold your labia.
  • You can watch Judge Judy while you do it.
  • Takes more time than going to a salon.
  • Leaves little bits of wax on your skin that's hard to pick off.
  • Phrase 'Extra Strength' on box is neither comforting nor enticing.
  • Kit does not include the double shot of whisky/heroin required to try this on yourself.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

D'Jew Really Say That?

Couple comes up to Canary counter. Man is wearing t-shirt that says "Mikvah Israel!" and a yarmulke.

Woman: "Are you Kosher?"
Me: "Kosher?"
Woman: "I asked 'Are you closed yet?"

L'il JoJo thought she said it too.

Thank you to all who voted for The Canary on MyFoxPhilly. Three of you used the phrase "hands down" in your comments. I know I'm going to be implicated for voter fraud and will be writing my next blog post from my holding cell.