W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: October 2006

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Just Weird Is All.

I just discovered that Mr. X has a blog.*

It's just weird.

*You can go ahead and tell him - I really don't mind. And yes, you're right - I am keeping the name. I'm going to confess that I feel like you've wanted to shake off my friendship in the past few months anyway, and I confess that this is probably the most avoidant way of telling you this less a text message. BUT. I really appreciate that favor, but wished I'd never had to ask you for it in the first place. And then once you renegged on it, I started to look back and realized that you guys and I hadn't hung out in six months! But I know you and Mr. X have...I don't know, things are weird, it's pretty clear that there are now courts and teams and all that. Not sure what else to say. This writing is pretty small and I don't want to blind anybody here. Nor get too into specifics. Blechghghghgar(*&()#UFHJLK!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Woulda Shoulda Coulda. (Warning: RANT)

You know, you really should ABC.
You know, you need to XYZ.

I think you could EFG.

Next time, call me, because I can LMN much better.

Everybody loves to be a backseat business person. Or a backseat therapist.

People are constantly offering me unsolicited advice about two major areas of my life: my business and my divorce.

I won't discuss the divorce part of it because I've already talked about that and frankly I think it's just human nature for people to try and be kind and supportive by being sagely and such because they really don't know what else to say. And sometimes the dirt is just plain juicy, and it's admittedly fun getting vicariously involved in someone else's screwed up life sometimes. Not a big deal, really, I'm pretty much used to that. And now that my head is screwed on straight again and I'm relatively sane now, I'm not getting as much of that anymore anyway. So.

But it seems that no matter how much I have it together (or think I do. Maybe that's the problem right there? I'm an absolute basket case and don't even realize it? The pie-eyed ladything trying to (oh chuckle!) run a cupcake company? Isn't that just about the cutest thing you ever did see?), people are constantly telling me what they think I need to do about any and all aspects of my business.

At first I rather enjoyed the advice. After all, I am doing this all by myself and outside opinions are important and can't be overlooked. But even once I started becoming more confident in my business decisions, I found the "Oh, no, you need to [fill in blank] instead of [fill in blank] because ...." hasn't stopped one iota.

Obviously this annoys me. Lately I've been trying to remember that people prattle about shit they have little to no practical experience in is because they're excited about my business and a small part of them even would like to put their mark on its success too. Which is cool. But really and truly it does get old. I can't even begin to count the number of people who've basically told me that I'm doing/did XYZABCLMO plain old fat WRONG. Or at the very least should be tweaked considerably. No kidding! Stuff that they know nothing about.

I just wish that these people could step in my shoes and do what I do for two weeks straight and then come back to me and talk to me about what I could have done better. Two weeks. Fuck that, two days. How about two days? This is, no doubt, the hardest job I've ever had in my life. Opening a business is entirely all-consuming and I'm not sure that people really get that. All of the details! I take responsibility for every single goddamn detail related to my business. And yeah, sometimes I fuck up, make mistakes, overstep, misstep, overshoot, forget, remember too late, overpay, forget to pay, don't get enough quotes, get buried in paperwork, forget to sign a check, forget the cinnamon, choose the wrong color, put on a dirty t shirt, break a dish, come in late, leave early...I'm learning as I go. As we all are.

But all I can tell all you backseat entrepreneurs is that I'm doing my best, which isn't the greatest, but certainly isn't the worst.

So come on, wear my shoes and then we'll talk again.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

There is a Goddess

and She has smiled on me.

They are going to move the piano to another part of The Circus on a trial basis.

And this makes me happy.


And on another musical note, while I was adding the new Pernice Brothers album to iTunes yesterday, I discovered that The Sun On His Back has been replaced by, what is, apparently my new favorite song...*

Up To The Sky by The Bats playcount 321 times.
The Sun On His Back by Camera Obscura playcount 181 times.

I am so lovin' this new album. Highly recommended for any alt-country Teenage Fanclub fans. I'm so at the December show at Johnny Brendas, but nobody else go because I need enough room to worship at the feet of Joe Pernice, ok?

*Mac/Firefox/Blogger does not let me add tiffs to posts. I don't know why and neither does blogger tech support.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I Have New Ambitions

to become a traffic court judge.

Traffic Court: The Play

Enter Oy Vey, Courtroom D, Philadelphia Traffic Court, 8th & Spring Garden, 9:00 a.m.

Bailiff: "Vey? Can I see your license please?"
Me: "Sure".
Bailiff: "Please sit down. Thanks."

[Five minutes later...]

Clerk: "Vey? Did you bring your registration?"
Me: "Yes."
Clerk: "I'm going to recommend to the judge No Points with the $72.50 fine".
Me: "Sure. Thanks".
Clerk: "You're welcome."

[Five minutes later...Enter Traffic Court Judge....]

Bailiff: "All rise."

Judge: "Will the following people stand up. Smith, McFitzjameson, Sopranini, Hill, Vey, McOShaughnessy, and Zupretti".


Judge: "I've reviewed each of your cases, and I accept your pleas. Please follow the bailiff out of the courtroom and pay your fines at the cashier. Thank you and have a nice day."


Sunday, October 22, 2006

Sleep is for Pussies! Part 432

Yes, it really is 4:17 a.m. on Sunday morning and I'm posting. I have to be up for work in two and a half hours anyway and I'm pretty much wide awake. I might even grab some Diet Coke, but that would be absolute commitment to the insomnia at this point. My therapist suggested that I write shit down when I wake up - that the actual act of putting the stuff in my head onto paper may ease some tension and then the little Sleepe Fairyes will come and bless me and all will be right with the world again.

So. Let's see, what's been happening?

Not Fun!: With the change in weather my seasonal migraines have returned. Mold allergies and drops in barometric pressure trigger these effers so I had been living in an Imitrex haze for the past few days until my Rx ran out. Hanging tight until I can get my mitts on some more.

Fun!: Last night SFG and I had a great night indoors. He tried his hand at The Pedi. Cutest thing I'd ever seen. Dude drank a beer and painted my toenails while I laid on the couch and drank vodka tonics. Talk about the Life of Reilly! Ha!

Meat is Fun!: New organic meat shop owner hooked me up with free meat after asking probing questions about my personal life. Nice hook-up, this cupcakes for meat thing, but not interested in giving this guy the wrong idea. I will not be a whore for meat thankyouverymuch. Only turkey. Sometimes.

Money is Fun!: Nice moolah day at The Canary on Saturday. If I had a day like that every day I'd be sleeping like a baby on roofies.

Friday, October 20, 2006

My Top Eight Irrational Fears.

1. Having my eye poked out by umbrella tines.
2. A "cute little" squirrel does a three-point turn and leaps on to my face and scratches my eyes out.
3. Immaculate Conception.
4. Monkfish.
5. Falling into that little space between the subway and the platform, getting stuck as the train moves. (Anyone else see that episode of Law & Order?)
6. Falling out of a roller coaster.
7. That I may really lose control one day and throw a cupcake or a spatula at the piano players at The Circus.
8. That I will become a hobo with a bindle.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Dental Damn! Part Deux

Shyster Huckster Dentist: "You have a good mouth. Looks like I won't be a making any money off of you this visit."

Me: "I don't feel the least bit sorry for you."

Shyster Huckster Dentist: "I'll be sure not to bogey any golf balls into the pond."

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Hell's Kitchen et al.

Damn I've got to get back into this blogging regularly habit better.

Spent the weekend at SFG's childhood home living the life of leisure. "Hey, my parents are out of town this weekend. Wanna come over? I'm gonna have a party!" - words I swear to you I haven't heard since 1989. We had a great weekend. Guinness Girl and Wilman met SFG on Saturday...Big step! Makes the whole adventure seem, well, kinda real, really. And today I talked to The Mom on the phone. Whoah!

And today was the first day that The Circus was open on Sunday. Which means I will not have a single day off until after The Birth of Christ. I am finding myself getting more and more anxious about leaving the bakery to do anything else, like a) take care of the books, b) order a new sink before the Board of Health comes after me, c) breathe d) sleep, e) pee. This is going to be a very rough next ten weeks and I'm not looking forward to it. Just hope and pray that I make a ton of money so I can stop having nightmares about being homeless, hungry and depressed for the rest of my days. Blargh!

Naah, it will be fine. It's just a matter of getting through this finite ten weeks - what is that anyway, 70 days? No, that sounds like a lot. Ten weeks definitely sounds shorter than 70 days....ok, let's not even go there. I will just think about the six days that I plan on sleeping post New Year's. Yeah, that will keep me going...Yeah.

Oh yeah, and pictures from my Divorceymoon are now on flickr!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A Friend in Need is a Real Pain in the Ass.

I've been really needy lately.

So needy, in fact, that I'm no longer too embarrassed to accept acts of kindness from friends. I have been reduced to being devoid of shame. A few good friends have offered their assistance in one form or another lately and under normal, saner circumstances, I would have feigned my usual stalwart attitude, sincerely thanked them and until Hell started churning out Freeze Pops, never ever taken them up on their offer.

At this point, however, I'm an emotional baglady, clanging my tin cup against the ribs of the starving blind cat huddled on my lap on top of the stained tattered army blanket I found alongside that most delicious half-eaten rancid falafel in the dumpster off of Broad and Tasker. My shoes have holes. My TiVo subscription has expired. I am a broken woman.

OK, maybe it's not that bad. But hell, I'm just warning you, if you offer [insert obscenely generous act of saintly goodness], I will probably accept. Just a warning. I found myself doing that today. And I didn't even feel that guilty about it.

Alright. I'm over it. I.Am.Putting.The.Violin.Back.In.The.Case.


Yesterday was SFG's birthday and I took him to The Grey Lodge for one of these beauties. But the real gift was a reading from Philly's Greatest Psychic because I knew he'd be game for such an adventure. And that's why I like him.

Oh yeah! And we went another Eagles game on Sunday and I didn't faint! Hurrah!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too

Ok, I'm back on the stick, on the grid, on the wagon, in the saddle...

Here's a recap of the last week and a half. In no particular order.

1. I signed a lease for an apartment. A cute little one bedroom in The Gayborhood with hardwood floors, recessed lighting and a deck. A ten minute walk to The Circus. And I love it.

2. The Canary now has an awning!

3. I passed out at Monday night's Eagles game. I'M FINE. Really. (SFG, thanks for taking care of me. You're a Rock Star.) So things appear to be going well with SFG considering my Damsel-in-Distressedness! (Am I right, SFG? What do you think? In fact, dare I say you found it slightly charming, right? Right?)

4. I have a new suitor at The Circus. I will call him SETI. His cat sends me Myspace messages from her daddy. He made me a work of art with his own hand: a wedding topper with the groom's head cut off and at the bride's feet; the couple is covered by a shot glass. It's magnificent. Yet is frightens me slightly.

5. The Canary has a new product: an eight ounce cupcake. The original name for such a thing as obscene as this was The Phatty (as in 'fat' + 'Philadelphia'), but we felt that it might make some people feel too self conscious and dropped it. Now it's called The 747.

OK, that's it. The Office is on. I'm out. But only 'til next time...real soon next time.