W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: August 2008

Friday, August 29, 2008

Rude Awakening. Or Maybe You Had to Be There.

A bad manners convention is in town!

Example #1
"I'd like an assortment of brownies."
"Sure! Some of them are more expensive. Do you want those included?"
"I said 'assortment'. Assortment means a group of different things."
"I know what assortment means."

Five minutes later.

"You overcharged me for my assortment."
(Check receipt, recalculate purchases.)
"Actually turns out I undercharged you by a quarter."
(Turns and walks away.)

Example #2
"My kid dropped his blondie on the floor..."
(Before there is time to respond...)
..."You're going to give him another one..."
(No time to respond. Surprised look!)
..."Come on! He's just a kid...Give him another one."*

Example #3
"Would like me to take the chill off this cupcake? It's in a refrigerated case..."
"No, I'm taking it out."

A minute passes.

"This cupcake tastes like absolute garbage. It's cold."

*May I just say for the record that in the event that the kid dropped the blondie on the floor and the parents had offered to buy him a clean one, I would have given it to them for free immediately. I'm partially sorry to say I ended up giving them the damn thing for free anyway because they started pitching a fit when they saw the You-ve Gotta Be Effin' Kiddin' Me Whatthehell Are You Teaching That Little Monster expression on my face. I'm just starting to learn sometimes it's better to just give in. They are taming my free spirit, those bastards, almost turning me into a regular pushover. Maybe I'm just getting old.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

I Think I Already Have A Post Entitled 'Mousy Girl on the End Pew'.

Last night was my and PeopleCat's 20th Year 8th grade reunion in Chicago.

Yes, people still have 8th grade reunions, isn't that totally wacky? I'm not sure why, other than maybe the freakshow, voyeuristic aspect. But while I holed away here in Filthadelphia grilling lamb chops and leeks drinking French 75s, the Very Brave PeopleCat attended the function at a local Beverly bar. Brave soul she is. God bless her. And she survived to tell the tale.

Have I mentioned that PeopleCat and I skipped 7th grade? Aside from generally being a social outcast because of that completely stupid decision on my parents' and teachers' part, I was generally a socially dorky human being, and 20 years later I still feel the sting of rejection and over-nerdiness. Maybe this is why I own a funky cupcake shop and wear snarky t shirts and have adored The Smiths since 1988. Ah, that day at the train station with Bobby D. and his Rank tape...

...In any event, there is absolutely no way in Hell would I have attended that event even if I lived within spitting distance of the watering hole and they were offering free Hendricks & tonics and Swedish massage. It would just be too weird to have to actually interact with these people whom I remember to be so brutal. Fly on the wall, maybe...

....I just feel lucky with all I've experienced so far. I've done a lot of things most of these people wouldn't ever think of doing (pin-ups! New Zealand! Tattoo!) and hell, I've been married, divorced, lived in sin, met some rockin' cool people, seen a good chunk of the world, and can safely say have never, ever, worn Mom Jeans. And that is a blessing.

Maybe by the 25th year reunion I'll be ready to face them. There is talk of one...

Friday, August 22, 2008

Of Montreal.

We are back!

What a lovely trip and terrific city. We toured The Plateau, raced through the Botanical Garden (a highly recommended visit) to avoid towing, ate bison tartare and fois gras poutine, quail baklava and rabbit stuffed with langoustines and piglet risotto, I bought the cutest winter coat (very Abba-esque), and aside from the fact that I was absolutely 167% convinced that SFG was going to propose on Wednesday night (It wasn't just me! I swear! In fact, I didn't give it too much thought until several people said it out loud to me, which got the wheels spinning, and I bought a new green dress and even blow-dried my hair, and oh shit, and the scene involved Russian nesting dolls I am so embarrassed, but seriously, the signs were all there everylastfreakingonebutiwaswrong (Russian nesting dolls for godsake!)), the trip was totally awesome and amazing and I have the very best tour buddy in the world.

I investigated a cupcake shop and I'm not being biased or snotty when I say I really didn't dig them too much. But I have enough respect and admiration for the owner that I will not link. The digs were cute, but the cupcakes, well, enh. Dense muffins with a smidge of frosting.

OK, so now it's time to start PUG SHOPPING...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Time spent with cats is never wasted.*

I did not sleep last night. I even took an Ambien CR ($48 for 10 pills! That's with insurance, people! I hate this country!). The 'CR' obviously is short for 'CRap' because I tell you, it didn't work one iota and I didn't end up falling asleep until like three or something. And now I am a zombie. A zombie who is watching Project Runway on DVR, sipping a St. Germaine g & t, and hazily trying to plan my next merch move with The Canary.

I had the most adorable 1 inch circular stickers made with the Canary logo on it and someone had the brilliant idea today of making buttons with them. I think it's brilliant. I'm researching button makers right now and can't wait to try them out!

I'm having the logo slightly redesigned for our new hoodies (yes! hoodies!!), which will be a chocolate brown with the canary logo across the chest and the word that begins with a 'p' will be replaced with 'Philadelphia' so we can nab the tourist set, yet still be discrete enough for that hipster set that I love so much here in Center City. We are very very excited for the hoodies. V.E.R.Y.

If anyone has any more product/promotional ideas, please feel free to pitch them. You will be credited and commissioned appropriately.

*Sigmund Freud

Monday, August 11, 2008

My Life in Pictures.

Busy busy before Montreal so I will write four major bullet points!

1. Pin-up shoot was much fun! Hair and make-up took two hours, the shoot itself was probably 15 minutes. We took some pin-uppy shots as well as head shots with cupcakes for the new website, which should be coming out if I can get my ducks in a row in the next week.Much fun and I am trying to keep my (very red) manicure as long as I can, even if that means skipping out on doing the dishes at work. I am the boss so I can do that.

2. The following commercial is JUST NOT RIGHT. I do not like it. It actually kinda pisses me off. Who Do These Kids Think They Are.

3. Look at the beautiful -- and very functional -- red silk shoes I bought on Friday. I want to marry them.

4. This is the pink 1940s style wedding cake I did on Thursday. Pink wedding cakes are very hot. This is the 3rd one I've done in six months.

C'est fini for now.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Girls Behaving Badly.

After I told a woman that I wasn't going to give her another cupcake just because she "it didn't taste like she thought it would", she proceeded to capsize the cupcake onto the counter and smear it all over.

I got Taco Bell for lunch.