W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: April 2008

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Bacon Bits.

New seasonal buttercream: I Love Bacon buttercream. I had to find a use for these sugar sprinkle pigs. And I had a sample of bacon extract.


Newest Craigslist counterhelp candidate email:

I am %$#^ and am a graduate student and am
interested in the Ad you placed in Craigslist for the
Bakery Counter Help. I am soft, helpful and am very
responsible person and a fast learner. I feel that I
can manage the things.

One thing I want to know is if you can pay in CASH.

Please let me know.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Toddler Years.

Today the Canary is two.

Barely walking. Just out of the crawl stage. Not full sentences yet, just words. But you get the drift.

I took the girls out to celebrate at Lolita then we went for drinks at El Vez. It was lovely. So why do I feel so bummed? Why can't I be a normal human and celebrate my accomplishments in a rational way?

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Downward Facing Ughhh....

After being totally stressed over some bad Internet buzz about The Canary, Dax and I went to yoga. It was my first class in 3 three years and I was excited to get back into the zen of it and calm my anxieties a bit.

Dax and I were waiting outside when we ran into My Former Hairdresser, who was also attending the same class. I stopped going to her a few months ago because the salon was just getting too expensive, not to mention I'd found a cheaper, more convenient place to go (and frankly My New Hairdresser does my bangs much better, no offense to My Former Hairdresser, who really is great at her craft and super friendly to boot.)

In addition to the awkwardness of running into a person whose services you used to use on a regular basis for two years and then ditched, I should mention that That Person Whom I Fired also works at the same salon as MFH. So obviously she knows what happened, and has an opinion, and well, hell, it's just plain old awkward.

But I can deal with that. MFH is on the other side of the room. I can't even see her because she's in the same row as me, and hell, we didn't really know each other that well anyway, and we said hi to each other, so, fine, a little weird, but definitely dealable.

Just when I thought all was clear, however, in walks That Persom Whom I Fired and Her Boss, MFH's boss. Seriously, I just started giggling to myself because The Whole Scenario was just too ridiculous for words. I couldn't have asked for a more absurdly awkward situation. Yikes.

But I have to say, yoga was awesome. I was actually pleased by my strength- I was surprised that I could actually hold some of the poses with a minimal amount of poise. I know it will hurt tomorrow. A good, workout-y hurt.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

In The News.

Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

How Is This Night Different From All Other Nights?

Seriously, how can a Saturday night be more perfectly spent than drunk dancing in polka dot heels and a Dishy hat eating matzoh pizza? Once you've hit 33 that is.

But anyway, let's backtrack so it all makes sense....

1. Drunk. Yes, that is what happens when one drinks three Bombay and tonics while one is straightening up the house after work and has a deck facing the Comcast building and waning sunlight and a fully charged Nano and a boyfriend at the Lou Reed show tonight...

(We will refrain from discussing why I am not seeing Lou Reed tonight. We will not mention that I seriously cannot stand this particular friend poor SFG is going with. I mean really. We won't whisper a word about how the bastard has been talking shit about how horrible I am and what crap judgment SFG has for being with me for the past year and a half, but whatever...I mean really, whatever...What.Ever. )

I am breaking in the polka dot mules I bought from ebay.fr for a wedding out on Long Island this coming weekend. The last time I was at a wedding out on Long Island, the bride made us sing fucking The Rainbow Connection during the service. That is a crime, people. Or it ought to be. Strung and quartered! Waterboarded! Bamboo Under the Fingernails! (I can't decide if that was what it was like or the punishment the newlyweds should have had to face for such brazen disregard for peoples' dignity). That shite should not be occurring in the Free World.

3. The Dishy hat because I am pining for New Zealand and hanging out with Martha and want to give her new company a nice fat plug! Shall I mention how many compliments I've gotten on my Dishy bag? My mom nearly ripped the thing off my shoulder. It makes me think about where I will go next? Iceland? Cape Town? Helsinki? Pattaya Beach? Babyshambles world tour? Anybody got any ideas? I've got airmiles up the arse and a hankerin' to get outta here with my obscene tax return ....

4. It is the first night of Passover and I have decided to be a good Jew this year and observe Passover by eating matzohs and not bread or pasta for the next eight days. It turns my digestive tract into a cement mixer but hell, it's worth it for the good of my People. I need to reclaim my identity, ground myself, be the Jewess that I know I am on the inside. Wish my colon good luck and God speed, friends. And Happy Pesach!

*Addendum: Holy bejeezus. Please forgive the bad grammar. I'm mortified.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

It's A Miracle!

I am finally getting official days off at The Canary. The Bassoonist and I are splitting alternate Sundays and Mondays for now until we find someone to take over Sundays completely, at which time I will have two whole days off in a row every other week. I am blessed.

I took this Monday off completely (meaning I did not go in at all. Not for an hour. Not for a minute.). Got up late. Cleaned the cat box, straightened up, took a shower and watched a bit of The View while my hair dried, then walked down to Rittenhouse and shopped. It was magnificent. And I even get this Sunday off. My cuppeth truly runneth over here.

And on top of that, The Canary's signature bar (the one with the bananas, pecans and stuff) is going to be in The City Paper. So there, Arthamay.

Oh yeah, and on top of that, I found out that the Cake Love guy came by a while back, bought a cupcake and then came back to say how delish it was. Mmm hmmm!

And now I have more resolve than ever to move the operation out to the burbs. I am starting to daydream about a cute little storefront with walls to hang things on, space to store stuff and expand, tables and chairs, high tea perhaps...and nobody telling me I can't sell chocolate chip cookies.

Monday, April 14, 2008

It's Outta Da Park!

Joy Behr to Elizabeth Hasselbeck on Hillary's apparent pandering to Middle America sensibilities:

"If Hillary were so pro guns, she'd have shot her husband a long time ago."

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Sometimes a Pregnant Squirrel is Just a Pregnant Squirrel.

Last night I had a dream that SFG was pregnant and everybody knew but me. He just went and had it done while I was in Atlanta! I was angry and hurt in my dream. When I told SFG about it in the morning, he said, "Well, that dream sure isn't about me being pregnant." Ah, there's no fooling the son of a shrink!

Speaking of crazy, let me share with your My Top Three Irrational Fears.

1. A (rabid? frenetic? bitter?) squirrel jumping on my face and gnawing my eyes out.
2. My eyes being poked out by umbrella tines.*
3. Being lucid yet paralyzed during surgery.** I refuse to watch that movie because of it.

* Yes, I see the pattern about the eyes. Someone explain.
** I read an article in Cosmo when I was 12*** by a woman who was awake yet paralyzed during abdominal surgery.
***I have no logical, moral explanation as to why I was reading Cosmo at 12. But I very specifically remember reading it.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Leave 'Em Hanging on the Line.

Holy hell, it's been nine whole days since my last post! I've been busy, sick, bored, and slightly depressed with nothing much to say for the past week plus. Really mostly busy and sick (still sick! with an annoying cough! Maybe I have COPD. Or emphysema! )And I just got back from Atlanta! At an exclamation point convention!

No, actually it was a dessert expo. Saw a lot of interesting things. More importantly, I got a blast of energy to start thinking about the possibility of moving The Canary out to The Main Line, which apparently is lacking in bakeries and loaded with cash. A perfect combo. My lease at The Circus ends next April, so I've got a year to do some recon and make some decisions. We will see.

And my mom and I had dinner with Shana Maidel and her mom down in Hotlanta. It was a perfect coincidence that she happened to be there as well at the time. And we went to The Varsity and had deep fried pie. Yes, I said deep fried pie.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Sweets Stalker.

Yesterday I got a call at work from the fabulous former blogger Whinger, who dug real real deep to unearth my super secret true identity and ordered brownies! How cool! Your brownies are in the mail, my dear. I took them to the posty this morning. And I know I speak for many when I say we miss you!

And in not so good news, I found out that this week is 'Cupcake Week' on Arthamay. B*&% never called me back. I'm pretty bummed about it. In fact, I feel pretty embarrassed and ashamed about it too. I know in my head I shouldn't and I'm not even exactly sure why I feel those emotions, but damn I'm in a rather sensitive state right now. Last night I took a bag of Jelly Bellys and a glass of wine to bed with me. And I didn't even brush my teeth after I devoured them. Rejection sucks. I know logically that it was a honor to be asked blaghdy blaghdy blagh, but gaddamn! so close. Yet so far away. Blargh!