W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: September 2008

Sunday, September 28, 2008


This morning I came out of the shower to discover that Ernie had pooped on my blackberry. A perfect turd right down the middle of my blackberry. It was like someone had come into my bedroom and placed it there. It was such a strange, freaky sight I wanted to take a picture of it, but then I thought that was kind of freaky.

I mentioned to two of my bakers today that SFG's cousin has employed Darryl Hall's niece as counterhelp at his bakery. They have never heard of Hall & Oates. They are 18 and 23.

[incredulous] "Who's Hall & Oates? Oh my god I am old. Seriously?"
[blank stare] "I've never heard of him."
[confused] "Wait, who?"
[innocent] "Holland Oates. Nope, never heard of him."

Friday, September 26, 2008

Ernie Go Bark.

Sorry I haven't had a chance to actually write about Ernie rather than just post those adorable pix. SFG is out of town and I am here with the new dog and work blagh blagh blagh. So here goes!

Ernie was picked up by Philly Animal Control sometime last week and brought to the Last Chance Ranch (my mom says that is the saddest name she's ever heard). Fortunately pugs are in pretty high demand so they don't stay in the shelter system for long!

Anyway, we got a notification on Adopt-a-Pet.com that there was a pug named KoolJo was available. Adopt-a-Pet is great because they'll tell you as soon as a pet that fits your criteria is listed on Petfinder so you have a leg up on getting your rescue application in.

So we applied on Friday and got him on Monday, thanks to Dax, who gave us a great reference (that's a mitzvah, lady! thank you!). Even though SFG was completely sold on the name, KoolJo was quickly changed to Ernie - Ernesto KoolJo Fantastic [SFG's last name because I'm traditional like that].

Yes, Ernie snorts and snores and flings boogers everywhere. And he has an intense love for trashcans. As well, he also loves people, completely ignores cats, has the biggest, bulgiest eyes I have ever seen, and is just wicked wicked cute. Especially in his camo raincoat.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Yeah, I Got the Dog a Raincoat.

I mean, it's going to rain.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Blogosphere, Meet Ernie. Ernie, The Blogosphere.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

You're Where You Want to Be. I'm Where I Want to Be.*

They're talking about opening up a slots casino in The Gallery, a couple of blocks away from The Circus. Please kill me now. Put me out of my misery before the riff raff comes trolling out to take part in The Worst Idea in Philadelphia's History. Jesusfrickinchrist, what are these people thinking, putting a Foxwoods where a) a kid was beaten so badly he had an asthma attack and died; b) several people were spontaneously beaten by a gang of 11 year olds; 3) an 82 year old man was cornered and beaten in the bathroom for $52 and just a couple of days ago 4) another guy was beaten to the inch of his life and is now in a coma. Classy.

(And I won't even mention that poor guy who was beaten by a psycho with a hammer on the subway last week, though not close to the Gallery it still speaks volumes about the je ne sais quois of Philly. This is one rough fuckin' town, lemmetellya.)

...perhaps not such a great place to open up the second iteration of a supercute cupcake boutique...

...so a friend and I are tossing around the idea of opening up a wine and cheese bar together. I like this idea. A lot. As do the few others whom I've told whose opinions I consider important. You know when you just know you can work with another person well? When you're friends and everything and that's great, but the work ethic, the priorities, the ability to work together is practically effortless? Well, we just might have something here. Our expertises are different, although there's some crossover, and we both feel we could make it work. And make it work well. She's all about front of the house (because, obviously, I can't stand humans.**) and I'd handle the BOH ops because I know how to run a kitchen and manage people (after getting over a BIG learning curve, believe youme). I'm really excited about this prospect. I'm feeling good about this. And damn, the idea of sharing the burden with someone else just sounds so...indulgent.

*Yes, I'm still on the FF. It's kind of like when you haven't smoked weed in a long time and then when you're vacuuming the couch one day you find a long lost bag tucked away behind the cushions and you just can't believe your luck and just enjoy it til it's gone. Next week things will change after I've had some more exposure to the Shout Out Louds, whom one of my bakers was playing at the shop the other day. I was intrigued...

**I was so annoyed today by this character, a self-proclaimed friend to both Richard Branson and Al Gore, that I told him to 'check [his] dosage' and then he moonwalked toward me and called me a bitch and said he was 'gonna cut [me]'. Happy 8:37 am! Let's hit the nickle slots, whaddya say?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Three Things You Should Know About The Amish.

1. Relatives of the Amish dress up like actual Amish and peddle their wares at The Circus. They also use cell phones and smoke cigarettes.

2. Ya know those famous apple dumplings they sell at The Circus? The hot ones that come with the little thing of cream to pour over? Well, they are actually frozen Mrs. Smith's and you have been had. Just check the dumpster out back for proof. I am not making this up.
3. 95% of puppy mills in Pennsylvania are Amish-owned. And Pennsylvania is the puppy mill capital of the country.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Pug Life.

Yesterday SFG and I went to a Pug Meetup at the dog run at Schuylkill River Park. There must have been 25 pugs cavorting. No barking, just a backdrop of snorting as the dogs ran around the small dog run while their mommies and daddies talked about them like they were at a PTA meeting in the park. The vast majority of dogs had human names, which made it all the more interesting.

We are sold on the pug. They were such friendly creatures! So cute, so quiet, relatively low energy, just happy l'il effers looking for human affection. And they are easily portable. We are putting in our application to the Pennsylvania pug rescue association so we can find ourselves a nice puppy/young adult without crazy health problems to adopt. I would like to say I'd only rescue, but we are also checking out responsible breeders.

My dream would be to find the perfect pug before Pugoween. I don't think I need to describe that to y'all. Oh the possibilities.

Friday, September 12, 2008

The Post to Nowhere. Alt. title Post #552.


SFG has a fantastical theory that toward the very end of the campaign McCain is going to get up on stage one day and say, "Hey Whippersnappers, I've had enough. I just can't do this anymore. This just isn't what I signed up for way back in 1971. Please, do yourselves, do America a favor, Save America, I know I don't deserve what I'm asking for, but give me the America that I was tortured for way back when when I booked at the Hanoi Hilton. I just can't play this game anymore. No more idiotic mudslinging, no more dirty politics. I don't want to win if I'm gonna win this way. I'm out. Vote for Obama. I just can't take this shit anymore. It's just not cool." and then he walks off stage, walks into a voting both, keeps the curtain open and publicly votes for Obama/Biden and smiles maniacally while he pushes the lever. And that is it.

And then we win.


Wouldn't that be awesome?

I'm a bit more skeptical however. Even in my Vouvray haze I am a cynic. Je suis le cynic.* I bitterly remember 2004. That sunny morning we all voted, thinking it was in the bag. The sky was as open and blue in Manhattan as it was in New Mexico. I mean, really? Who would eat that slop? Seriously? We are free thinkers. We are optimists. We are Americans. We know what we need.

And I remember the next day. Rainy, bleak. People spontaneously bursting into tears at the Starbucks on 2nd Ave and 11th St. We had been had by the liberal media. I remember a friend who writes for the NYT saying that the reporters on the Kerry junket were getting on the train to DC the night before because it was in the bag. Seriously in the bag. Sigh.

I am not convinced that we will succeed. I live in a liberal, urban bubble. I've gotten back into Keith Olbermann.** I don't have a clue what the rest of the country is thinking. However, s'ppse, if my mother is any barometer of politcal apathy ("I think they're all crooks"), she is kinda keen on Obama. He peaks her interest. He's refreshing. She will most likely vote for him. Though maybe she's not such a great barometer after all, considering she, ex-nun-who-moved-in-with-a-married-Jew, and eventually bore me, Ms. Vice-Crimes-Should-Be-Legal-Jesus-Christ-Please!***, so..maybe not...so much. Sigh.

Maybe I am just being a pessimist tonight. Maybe my chakras aren't in sync and I just can't see the big picture here. Maybe I am just projecting my own fears about my business onto my political schematic. Or maybe I'm right. I just don't know. Blargh.

*Sorry, had to do this. Recently finished Updike's Couples, a book about a bunch of affluent Cape Cod marriages who drink stiff martinis and swing while they're pregnant, and one of the characters always finishes his sentences with a French translation of what he's just said in English.

**If you haven't seen it, I encourage all to youtube Keith Olbermann's Special Comment of 9/10/08 on McCain's statement that he "knows how to get Bin Laden." Well, Sir, if you do, will you notify the proper authorities because 3000 people's families are waiting for justice. Or what, you will only tell us how to get him after you're elected?

***I am 42% convinced I am actually the love child of this union, rather than of whom they tell me is my father, a psychologically and spiritually depressed suburban WWII Lithuanian refugee child with (oddly enough) an MSW and an MBA remarried converted social worker turned tangentially Episcopalian Star Trek TOS fan who likes nice cars and hefty tax write-offs. I'm sure you know the type.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Freaky Wednesday.

I had a very productive day.

This morning I went a small business workshop at Wharton, that I really truly think may change the trajectory of my business. Basically you are the project of an MBA student. You work with that student (and the administrators of the program) to attain the goals that you have with your business. I have been looking for a resource like this for three years I am not even kidding you. Hopefully these folks will be able to guide me through the next phase of The Canary, whatever that might be....

This afternoon I had a very long awaited Jackie appointment! And she was freaking en pointe. Freaky-ly so! After she brought up the facts that 1.) two males in spirit with the initials J & F, possibly father and son, were hanging around me lately to keep me cheerful* and they kept saying the word "bike" to her, which means they know I got a new bike!; 2) SFG is scheming to get me some sort of gift of jewerly**; 3) I am going to have some sort of reproductive scare in November, perhaps an abnormal pap, perhaps something seemingly worse, but it's only going to be scary at first, then it will turn out to be not so bad afterall but I must prepare for my absence at work when this occurs; 4) I am currently unhappy in my present location of business and in the next few months I will need to make a decision about the future of the Canary at The Circus***; 5) my mother drains me emotionally; and 6) I'm going to make a lot of money with Canary II., I actually felt pretty damn good about things.

*I know a father-son combo with F & J initials who are now in spirit. Totally makes sense.
** Oh no, let's not go there again!!
*** My lease is up in April, so she was totally accurate there.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

9021 OH MY WORD.

It's trash! And I like (but don't love) it (yet)! Aaron Spelling is no doubt rolling in his grave after the Blow Job scene in the first seven minutes of the episode. My how times have changed!

I admit, I probably won't be waiting around to watch it on any regular basis, but what a good waste of two solid hours in the front of the boob.

Did Brenda get plastic surgery? Somethine about her looks off.

Speaking of Spelling, have y'all caught Tori and Dean Home Sweet Hollywood? I was reluctant because I thought she'd be horrible, but she's actually quite a sweet woman and a nice mom and I would like to be her friend.