W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: January 2007

Thursday, January 25, 2007


I've been tagged by Martha.

Six Weird Things About Me.

1. I can crack my toes incessantly.
2. Words I hate with an undying passion: slacks, fondle, belly, womb, mature (pronounced 'ma-toor'). (Go Freud!)
3. I skipped 7th grade (with PeopleCat) which means I used to be smart. Too smart for my own good.
4. I love pink. A nice pale, sophisticated, sweet pink. No, I am not seven, nor do I adore ponies or rainbows or other schmaltzy crap. Just pink.
5. I decided to get divorced and open up a bakery at the same time. Maybe that doesn't make me weird, just completely and utterly insane.
6. Most of the time I'd rather hang out with cats than people.

I tag Guinness Girl, Christine, and Katie.

Premenstrual Sidebar: Do you ever feel like you're destined for heartbreak even though your relationship couldn't be better?


Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I Beg to Differ

but according to someone somewhere, January 22 was The Saddest Day of the Year.

The Official Birthday was quite nice. It started with a lovely basket filled with fancy cheese, fancy wine, fancy bread and tulips from Meatman. Erm, yeah. Dax pointed out that he should have just put the edible underwear in there too for good measure. I-Dog pointed out that it was a cheesy gift (cheesy, get it?), that any guy knows any girl goes for fancy cheese, less the lactose intolerant of course. But Meatman is a certified south Philly cheeseball. And it will never happen. Ever. Not ever. For real. I'm quite happy with My Boy. Indeed.

SFG took me for Vietnamese food last night followed by some Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide ice cream. Yum!

Tonight the celebration continues: Guinness Girl is treating me to Pico de Gallo tonight with the other Philly Blogger Gals! Here I come Pollo Enchiladas Verdes and loads of wine. Loads.

Sunday, January 21, 2007


Best Birthday Ever.

SFG had an impromptu taco party for my birthday last night. He invited the Canary staff plus some friends to his house for, well, tacos and a pinata.

A zebra pinata that shed an interesting mix of conversation hearts, condoms and Nicorette.

The Canary staff bought me, among other thoughtful gifts, a t shirt that simply says 'cunt'. Gotta love those little bastards.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I Just Wish You Could See The Handwriting.

Because it's creepy.

Dear -Friends: The Bassoonist

How was your weekend, For a Good Time In Summer go to Presque Isle State Park in Erie Penna! Sand, sun, water, Fishing. Good restaurants in Erie. Your 1 hour from Clevland in Erie. 2 Hours from Niagra Falls., Good walleye Fishing. Are you single or married. Whats your age?. Im 49, so on 4/17/57 Maybe we can get Together some time. I never married. I really need a job and wife. I haven't had a job that Paid alot since 2001.

THey stole all my Kids all over Penna. Beware of Bad People STILL. THEY sexuely harrassed and Baggered my Family. I have no Money to date now.

Talk to you Later.

Have a Nice Day


Green Eyes/Shrek

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Most Honest Job Description Ever. Redux.*

Cool bakery seeks beast of burden/whipping boy/back massager to do prep work, wash dishes, dump sacks of flour and sugar into bins, answer phones, make cappucinos and deliveries, and dispose of vermin. No previous experience necessary - will train. Good attitude a must! Must love Ace of Base, Michael Jackson and, on rare occasion, Neil Diamond. Come be The Man of the House! Kindly hobos and creeps need not apply. Must be able to work on Sundays 9 to 4. About 30 hours a week.

  • Location: Center City
  • Compensation: $8 per hour plus all the espresso you can stomach, Big Boy.
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
*Current whipping boy gave Rasputina and The Bassoonist attitude while I was away, in addition to singing songs about having passively killed a cop. Buh-bye.

***Chicago was excellent by the way. PeopleCat and I showed C Note and SFG our childhood haunts, including Peter Cetera's Mom's House (PCMH), The bar on top of The Hancock, Greektown, and Superdawg.

********Tomorrow's post will discuss The Creepy Letter that one of The Circus's Crazies sent to The Bassoonist c/o The Canary. I had to call Security. Drama!!!!!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I Spy

Mr. X's JDate profile.

And I can't help but feel - as obnoxiously egocentric as it is - that the Who I Want to Meet description he filled in is me. Rasputina read it and agreed, although she may have been humoring me.

I'm not suggesting that Mr. X is pining for me or anything like that. It's subconscious at best. Or it's just me. I don't know. It just struck me as oddly familiar. Kind of mad me sad, actually.

Finally Chillin'.

Things are finally calm-ish in my life.

Today I took the day off. Sort of. I was only at work for about an hour and a half. But hey!

I've pretty much decided at this point I'm going to do the very best I possibly can and try and refrain from sweating it too much. Sort of a New Year's resolution, I guess.

SFG and I are going to Chicago for the weekend on a long overdue trip to visit PeopleCat! Woo hoo! SFG, poor bastard, doesn't know what he's in for. PeopleCat, you know, I realized our conversation topics will have to be severely limited because we usually talk about sex, boys, and sex with boys. But we do plan on giving My Boy the Royal Tour of the South Side of Chicago. Because there is nothing more royal than Western Avenue.

Thursday, January 04, 2007


Man staring into cupcake case.
Me: "Can I help you?"
Man: "No, I'm just scratching."


Me: "So, blagh blagh, Vortex of Craziness..."
Dude who works at The Circus: "Yeah, blagh blagh, Vortex of Craziness..."
Crackhead: "Can I have your peanut butter?"
Me: "No, I need it."

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Weigh In.

Hypothetically speaking...anti-handholding ...dealbreaker - yes or no?*

*To those of you who've already answered this question, please answer again for sake of the argument in question. Thanks.