W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: September 2006

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Don't Walk Away Oy Vey.

I was going to attempt a post about obnoxious Boy Scouts at The Canary yesterday but I was so tired I fell asleep at 9 and slept for 13 hours. And now I forgot what I was going write about.

Such is the Story of My Life these days. I'm having a hard time finding the time and energy to blog (much less dress myself and brush my teeth in the morning) much less come up with anything remotely interesting or amusing to write about. I feel myself slowly slipping into another mini-albeit-still-exhausting Black Hole these days.

I'm so tired. And when I'm not tired I'm anxious. And when I'm not anxious I'm sleeping. Obviously this leaves little time for the Little Extras in Life right now. Between the antics of Mr. X, The Circus opening on Sundays (woo hoo! Now I get to hire extra help! and pay for extra electricity! and never get a real day off! woo hoo!), The House Debacle, and unsolicited advice from people on the previously mentioned topics, I am seriously running on empty. I'm so tired I don't even want to listen to my iPod anymore. That's pretty bad.

So instead of boring y'all with my negative whingey chi, I'd rather keep it to myself and not make it public forever on The Internets; I'm going on BlogHiatus for a while. Hopefully it won't be for too long because that would mean that I don't feel like bursting into tears during 50% of my waking day anymore! And I won't sound so goddamn pitiful.

Ugh. I'm so stopping right now. I'm disgusted with myself for even blathering about this in the first place. OK. Ten Four. Roger Roger. Over and Out.

posted by Oy Vey at 3:17 PM 5 comments

Monday, September 18, 2006

Canary Business.

The Parade of Whipping Boys has begun!

Candidate #1 "Jebediah": 19, still lives with his parents. Shares the semi-obscure biblical name of Fired Baker #2. Neither Rasputina nor I had ever met anyone with this name prior to Baker #2, so we were immediately intrigued by him. "Can we call you J-Man?" "You can call me 'Heyyou'. Good kid, good sense of humor. Told us working at The Canary is like working in a real life episode of Sex and the City. HA. Mais oui!!: trade the Manolos for Super Birkis and the Prada bag for a plastic blue Ikea shopping bag and you'd hardly be able to tell us apart. I get to be Miranda!

Candidate #2 "Manny": Mid 20s, has 'lived all over'. Decent worker but more suited to gas station attendant than cupcake hawker. Unfortunately one needs to be a little bit cute and a lot clean to sell cupcakes and black teeth and a grease monkey one piece just aren't gonna cut it.

Candidate #3 "Thurston Smith III, B.A.": 22, just graduated from 'Yale University'. Commented to Rasputina that he wished he'd gone to a 'more practical school'. Evidence suggests that he has never swept/mopped before.


Candidate #4 "Blue-eyed Eye Candy": Tall and cute. Rasputina likey! Exactly as I said to him, he would be her bitch, so it's up to her to decide if he cuts the mustard, or in this instance, the poundcake with a deft hand and a lovely blue eye. We'll let you know tomorrow!

Suggestion for the Government: Like mandatory enlistment in the Israeli Army, I would like to propose that every high school graduate be required to work in the service industry for a period of no less than one year. Preferably in the food service industry. And preferably with a mop, a waiter's pad, or a cash register as your tool of trade.

posted by Oy Vey at 8:40 PM 1 comments

Saturday, September 16, 2006

The State I'm In.


On a scale from 1 to 10:

Physical: +7
Social: +8
Personal: +2 (a schizoid -7 and 9)
Sex: +9
Professional: +6

Did I miss anything?

It's been really hard getting back into this blogging thing lately. Remember when Olympia Dukakis says to Daryl Hannah in Steel Magolias "If you don't have anything nice to say, well then, come sit by me?" Yeah. That's how I'm feeling lately. I haven't got a whole lot of good stuff to say these days. Not because The Good Stuff isn't happening, but The Bad Stuff has been really bad. No-Energy-To-Even-Blagh Blagh-About-It-On-Blogger Bad.

Mr. X has tied the noose around my neck and is getting ready to kick the chair out from under my feet. And I'm a *wee bit* stressed about it. I don't think I can say much more about it for fear of having it Used Against Me in a Court of Law kind of thing. Which reminds me that there is a gigundo bill from my divorce lawyer waiting for me in an unopened envelope on the living room chair (which is mine). Sigh.

So you can see I'm a real barrel of laughs these days. Thank god for My Vacation otherwise I'd be an absolute basket case.

Baaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

posted by Oy Vey at 8:39 PM 2 comments

Friday, September 15, 2006

Welcome SFG!!


Everyone, SFG...

SFG, Everyone....

Can I get anyone a cocktail? Chip and dip is right over there...

posted by Oy Vey at 12:17 PM 4 comments

Monday, September 11, 2006

Anyone Wanna Work at The Canary?

Most Honest Job Description Ever. (Center City)

Reply to: job-205765446@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-09-11, 11:33AM EDT


New cool bakery seeks beast of burden/whipping boy/back massager to do prep work, wash dishes, dump sacks of flour and sugar into bins, answer phones, make cappucinos and dispose of vermin. No previous experience necessary - will train. Good attitude a plus! Must love dogs. Must love pianos. Come be The Man of the House! Creepy and homeless need not apply.

posted by Oy Vey at 6:52 PM 6 comments

Friday, September 08, 2006

She's Baaaacckkkk!


But I'll continue to bore you for a few more days with pictures until I get myself and The Canary back on track, do my laundry, sort my trinkets and sample the three bottles of Scotch I smuggled back from Oddbins.

I had a blast! Sad to go/Glad to be back...

posted by Oy Vey at 6:11 AM 4 comments

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Glasgow: First 24 Hours.


Indian Summer, Victoria Park.

posted by Oy Vey at 7:54 PM 2 comments