W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: RotD: My Illogical Hatred of Milk.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

RotD: My Illogical Hatred of Milk.

There are two foods that I hate more than anything else, anytime, any place, anywhere in The Universe. Forever and Ever Amen. Really.

Beets and Milk.

I'm not going to even get into beets. Beets taste like dirt. And dirt doesn't taste good. Eating dirt is a symptom of pica, a psychological disorder. So, if you eat beets then you must have pica.

Milk. Oh how you make me shiver. A glass of milk is about the most disgusting thing there is. I'm not totally anti-milk. Just drinking it. I don't know what it is, because I use milk all the time in cakes. I drink about six lattes a day. And if I want some cereal, I use it as a condiment, where I just wet the cereal to the point where it won't scratch my throat when I swallow. Or if I have a chocolate chip cookie, I will dip the cookie in a bowl of milk. But I'd never, ever actually take a sip from a glass.

And don't even get me started on The Glass of Milk with Ice. I know! It's completely nonsensical. But there's something about mixing the milk with water that gives me the heebeejeebees.

But the most insane thing is that I love all other forms of dairy. I'm a cheese whore and will eat almost any kind of cheese you set in front of me. Yogurt rocks. And I love sour cream. Who doesn't love bacteria-riddled heated cream? And clotted cream is the freaking Food of the Gods.

I honestly don't know where this started. Had to be in my early childhood because I've always felt this way about milk. I was forced to drink it. I used to hold my nose and chug that fucker down as fast as humanly possible otherwise I wasn't allowed to leave the table. It wasn't like I could spit it into my napkin like the peas I was also forced to consume and feed them to the dog under the table. The logistics of such a maneuver were beyond my six-year old capabilities.

Borscht. Are you KIDDING ME?


Blogger Christine said...

I am in complete agreement on the milk thing. Blech, gag. Although I should look into treatment for my apparent pica/liking beets.

Although I think the beet thing might be due to pure novelty because I have them maybe maybe once every two years...and really just like that they are that absurd shade of magenta.

6/25/2006 7:48 PM  
Blogger Martha said...

I've got pica big time. When I was pregnant I ate about 4 raw carrots a day, occasionally I'd sneak a slice of raw potato.

Beetroot (which is what we call beets here) is a cultural icon in New Zealand. A hamburger isn't right without a slice (the McKiwi burger at McDs has beetroot and an egg in it).

6/25/2006 10:54 PM  
Blogger Guinness_Girl said...

EW. Even grosser than either of those two is the COMBO of the two. Beets & milk.

Grody to the max.

Okay, so I don't mind a glass of milk now and again - but NEVER with ice.

6/26/2006 12:28 PM  
Anonymous daximus said...

So I have to confess, I will occasionally drink a glass of milk with ice, but if it makes a difference, I get that it grosses people out. Sometimes you just want it ice cold. And I like beets (but I think you knew this about me). Canned beets gross me out, but ever since I made them myself (that summer when I had the subscription to the local organic farm and got produce each week), I've been a fan. I just remember at that sedar we went to when the salad had beets and goat cheese in it - two things I know you don't like. But I was quite proud that I knew to just serve you the lettuce at that point.

6/26/2006 6:19 PM  

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