You Can Call Creedmore and Cancel My Rez.
Too bad I didn't have any leftover Harry Potter-inspired frosting - black, purple, gold and 'Gandalf Grey' (or 'Fresh Cement' in J.Crew speak). I'm still waiting for the call from the seven year old's mom's lawyer about her white couch and carpet being smeared permanently with The Colors of Mordor (I know, I know! I just wanted to write the word 'Mordor'.)
And thanks to my buddies who wrote and stopped by to give me good wishes and make sure I'm ok. I assure you, I am. In fact, someone commented that, considering everything, they're quite impressed I haven't had a breakdown sooner! I'll take the compliment!!
Stupid Customer Quote of the Day: [Pointing to a blondie] "I'll take two of those whities, please."