W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: Earthquake Glue.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Earthquake Glue.

On Wednesday, my doctor reminded me that I am now over 30 and just can't keep up The Rockstar Lifestyle I've been living anymore (Smoking, Drinking, Eating Salami-Stuffed Cheesesteaks with Whatever's On Tap or in a Cocktail Glass with a Twist, Carousing, multiple viewings of I Shouldn't Be Alive in a row, blogging, etc...). She put me back on the pill because she thinks that it will help control my anxiety, stop the breakouts and the weight gain (ermm, yup!) and the Godawful Nearly Blackout Cramps I've been cursed with for a couple of months now.

Whenever I start to feel that my life is spinning wildly out of control, I go all ascetic on y'all and give up something. Something big. Something that I adore. And it generally involves something that I put in my mouth.

So, between the good Dr.'s Proclamation that I AM OLD and the desperate need to regain My Sanity, I've decided to give up cigarettes and meat. At the same time.

Actually, neither of them on their own is a big deal. I can't stand smoking a) when it's sweltering hot out and b) in air conditioned rooms, so that's fine. And the meat. Enh. So, I pass Rick's Cheesesteaks with my eyes averted. I can do it. No biggie. There's always the butter-slathered Amish pretzel right around the corner. I was a veggie until I moved to Philly, a/k/a Meat Lovers' Paradise (MLP). I'll just whip out Fast Food Nation for a little inspiration and all will be smooth sailing. Moo.

I know it sounds insane, but I might as well just jump on both bandwagons at the same time. Or get on both wagons. Or get on both horses. Whatever. You get the drift.

But I can't not give one last goodbye to The Greatest Meatish Food Product Ever to Be Created by Man. Ever. Don't worry, L'il One, Momma will return.

White Castle Haiku
Little greasy square
grey with holes. So good. But why?
Snap! God in meat form.

Wicked Awesome Woot Woot! P.S.: Hidden Cameras @ TLA on 6/27? Maybe. Or it's 7/5 at the Unitarian Church. I'm finding conflicting info on the Internets, but whatever. Either date, I'm game. Who's coming with me?? B?! I know you're reading this and I know you're game for anything (even though you know you'd never catch me dead at a Rasputina show but you love me anyway, right? If you can suffer through the hipsters, I'll buy you a PBR or 4. And then we'll gab about it on Friendster.)....!


Blogger BULLSEYE said...

Screw that stuff...massive amounts of tequilla and beer keep me going strong!

6/18/2006 10:41 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

I was a veggie for six years and fell off the wagon about a year before moving to the Phila region... BUT is there a White Castle around here? The last one I went to was in Central Jersey? Now I'm craving a case of oniony mini burgers.

6/19/2006 9:33 AM  
Anonymous Whinger said...

I think it makes sense to quit them both at once. May as well be craving lots of things.

As for cramps, and related to giving stuff up...I know this sounds ridiculous, but giving up yeast has worked for numerous women I know. Make sandwiches on wraps or pita bread, and stay away from the cinnamon rolls that rise, and see if your cramps clear up.

I'm totally not kidding. Partner's like a new gal.

6/19/2006 12:51 PM  
Blogger -R- said...

I wish you luck on giving up both the meat and cigarettes!

The only times I have ever craved meat are on some Fridays during Lent because that is of course when I am giving it up; otherwise, I could take it or leave it.

6/19/2006 2:26 PM  
Blogger Oy Vey said...

bull: never said nothin' about givin' up booze...

christine: not in philly that i know of, other than the frozen ones at superfresh. but i can pine, can't i? maybe we can take a bloggers' roadtrip to nj for some sliders, eh?

whinge: no amish pretzels? waaah! i'll give it a try...

r- thanks!

6/19/2006 8:17 PM  
Anonymous B said...

dude, look...is this blogging? Lucky for you I thought I'd drop in to your blog universe and see what's going on with you (because, you know, we don't see each other all the time) and sure, I'll go to that show with you...as long as it's not a thursday night. Rasputina? Geez buddy there's none of that on my ipod...what are your thoughts on Nick Cave?

6/19/2006 10:20 PM  
Blogger Oy Vey said...

b: yeah, yeah. sure. that band makes me laugh, that's why i always associate it with you. in a good way, of course. i think we already know who will be accompanying you to the Troc au nuit de M. Cave...you know I like my boys in bands a little peppier than that.

oh, and by the way, i still have about 25% of my mouse trackpad thingy left. that stupid cab sav! somehow i don't think applecare will cover that shit. aye.

6/19/2006 10:58 PM  

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