I Have Four Boyfriends
at the Circus.
1. "TJ" - 61 year old poultry butcher accosted me at the loading dock to tell me he likes me and wants to take me out to dinner and then I'll come over to his house for dinner so he "can cook me greens the right way". You know why he likes me? Because I "don't have hair 'there'" (pointed to my fingers).
2. "The Gobbler" - works at the turkey sandwich stand. Comes by everyday asking when the coffee's coming. Gives me 'the eye' when I give him the Circus workers' discount on brownies. I'm considering stopping giving him the discount.
3. "Ponytail Pete" or "Produce Pete" or "PP" - skinny, pasty guy with a long straggly ponytail who works in the Market. Has a tendency to stare in the general direction of The Canary. We find him odd.
4. "Mr. iPod" - Baldheaded dude who works at the roast pork stand comes by and attempts to catch my eye through the sneezeguard. When we do make eye contact he pulls out his iPod to show it to me. Definitely not a person I would want to know where I live. Creepy!
And I didn't even include J, who owns the cookbook shop who says she wants to make out with me everytime I bring her a cupcake.
** And can I just say for the record that I am having a most lovely evening sipping a Ravenswood '04 Shiraz (Aussie), smoking a cigarette and wearing my new polka dotted mules from eBay France and sweatpants around the house for absolutely no reason at all?
1. "TJ" - 61 year old poultry butcher accosted me at the loading dock to tell me he likes me and wants to take me out to dinner and then I'll come over to his house for dinner so he "can cook me greens the right way". You know why he likes me? Because I "don't have hair 'there'" (pointed to my fingers).
2. "The Gobbler" - works at the turkey sandwich stand. Comes by everyday asking when the coffee's coming. Gives me 'the eye' when I give him the Circus workers' discount on brownies. I'm considering stopping giving him the discount.
3. "Ponytail Pete" or "Produce Pete" or "PP" - skinny, pasty guy with a long straggly ponytail who works in the Market. Has a tendency to stare in the general direction of The Canary. We find him odd.
4. "Mr. iPod" - Baldheaded dude who works at the roast pork stand comes by and attempts to catch my eye through the sneezeguard. When we do make eye contact he pulls out his iPod to show it to me. Definitely not a person I would want to know where I live. Creepy!
And I didn't even include J, who owns the cookbook shop who says she wants to make out with me everytime I bring her a cupcake.
** And can I just say for the record that I am having a most lovely evening sipping a Ravenswood '04 Shiraz (Aussie), smoking a cigarette and wearing my new polka dotted mules from eBay France and sweatpants around the house for absolutely no reason at all?
posted by Oy Vey at 8:58 PM
6 Comments:
Brilliant, like I Love Lucy the crack hag!
I say go for Ponytail Pete. Perchance he's Mr. Sensitive Ponytail Man? Hmm.
When shall we drinkie again, my dear? Say the word and I'm there.
Crack hag is right! Sugar hag!!
GG, umm...NO. Second question: YES.
Let's hope this is not a contest to see who wins.
But I would say J, if it comes to it, who I think may just have a thing for your cupcakes.
That totally sounded dirty and I didn't mean for it to.
Yeah, J would definitely win if there's a contest, but she's got a boyfriend and is 8 months pregnant anyway.
Eh. Details.
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