W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: I'm Not Your Bitch, Bitch.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

I'm Not Your Bitch, Bitch.

I know I'm a wee bit late in commenting on this week's episode of Top Chef, but I finally caught it and I feel it's my professional responsibility to chime in. This one's for you, Dax and Martha.

The restaurant challenge was interesting. It really forced these back-of-house types to think about their food in a whole-dining-experience sort of way. That said, Tiffani's American Workshop winning wasn't a surprise against Sabor. In the Post 9/11 Era, I've seen a trend toward more familiar, comforting food. Not that people are anti-unAmerican in their tastes, but there's a definite pull toward what we know and what makes us feel good. And safe. So, kudos to you. Excellent name and excellent front of the house execution. There was no doubt in my mind however, that Dave was going to kick Steven's ass in the front. Who the hell cares how many kilos Mahon is from Majorca? Good lord, Steven, get with the program. This isn't geography class. People are hungry. Have you ever been in class and hungry?

And can I say for the record that HAROLD ROCKS. He always takes the back seat on praise, and rarely puts the blame on anyone else. Remind me to go to The Harrison next time I'm in New York. In my eyes, he is a true Top Chef. And jesus, has a pencil ever looked sexier behind someone's ear?

Good riddance, Miguel. You're a talented chef, but you just don't have it together. Sorry, dude. We'll miss ya, though. Take care. 'We'll have a drink when we get back to New York.' Probably shoulda doublechecked that fish before you brought it out to Tom Colicchio. Oops!

And next week's episode: Ha ha! Tiffani, wtf, girl???? CAKE MIX IN THE BOX? Well, if I may, it certainly gives street cred to us pastry chefs for once. Not like you couldn't mix a cake, Tiffi, for chrissakes. It's flour, sugar, butter and eggs. BASIC. Put me in that kitchen, beyotch, and I'll deglaze with the rest of youz. I've heard that a pastry chef could double in a culinary kitchen much more easily than the other way around. It certainly appears to be so by the way they all freak out whenever they have to do anything dessert related.

My 'pack your knives' prediction: Erghh, it's a toss-up. It could be the teaser, but my bets are on either Tiffani or Steven.


Blogger Red said...

Are you devastated that the Celebrity Cooking Showdown was cancelled after only a few episodes? :) I heard a great commentary on how the actors kept burning themselves, like they'd never seen fire before... "What is this glowing orange air in front of me?! OW! It hurts when I touch it!"

4/23/2006 9:14 PM  
Anonymous Whinger said...

I heart Tiffani. I don't want to, but I do.

I want Harold to win overall, though.

4/24/2006 2:04 PM  
Blogger Martha said...

The cake in the box definitely looks like a big disaster. Maybe they can't look up a recipe in a book to save face?

It could be Tiffani or Steven, but Dave is always on the brink of disaster too.

4/25/2006 4:39 PM  
Blogger Oy Vey said...

Red: never saw it, but want to catch it on Tivo. Though I'm not sure it's as fun as the Celebrity Ice Skating-Off.

Whinger: Cannot get into Tiff. She's such an ARSEHOLE. Not even. Can't even say that. She's just not FRIENDLY, yeah that's it. She's competent though. I give her credit for that.

Martha: OMG, you're so right about Dave. Though the teasers...I don't know. They sure make it seem like it's gonna be Steven or Tiffi...but then again they ARE called 'teasers'! Dave won't make it much farther, that's for certain.

4/25/2006 10:05 PM  

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