The Sign of the Curse.
The first thing to do is assemble: sugar, egg whites, gelatin, corn syrup, salt, vanilla extract, food coloring, two 9-inch square pans, two sheet trays, a mixer, a candy thermometer, cookie cutters, parchment paper or plastic wrap, and a can of Pam which, [Oy Vey] says, is "the most important thing, because this shit will stick everywhere."
And that's the only thing I was quoted as saying because the article got hacked to pieces for space. I think everything else I said involved worse profanity anyway so it's probably for the best. I have a nasty habit of calling food "little fuckers", as in "just spread frosting on those little fuckers and slap them on a plate."
Fortunately it works in this paper because it's an Urban Hipster Paper, but I don't think I'll be adding this one to my press kit anytime soon. Or sending this to my mother.