Kvetch of the Day: Marital Status Questions.
Whenever I fill out a questionnaire that asks my marital status I get peeved.
Why should "divorced' be an option? 'Divorced' is not a state of being. One gets a divorce, one is going through a divorce, and yes, in certain contexts (e.g. gossip), one is divorced. However, for the sake of classification on a marketing questionnaire, I don't think it's relevant. I am 'single' or 'in a relationship'. I have been divorced.
What's next? Branding us with 'D's on our foreheads? A scarlet 'D' stitched to our shirtsleeves? Well, I never.
***
I had a very productive day on Facebook today. I reconnected with a high school boyfriend (who has twins now and seems to have grown up waaaay to much for my taste) and my freshman year college roommate at Sarah Lawrence. I think if she didn't live on the other side of the country we'd be friends.
Why should "divorced' be an option? 'Divorced' is not a state of being. One gets a divorce, one is going through a divorce, and yes, in certain contexts (e.g. gossip), one is divorced. However, for the sake of classification on a marketing questionnaire, I don't think it's relevant. I am 'single' or 'in a relationship'. I have been divorced.
What's next? Branding us with 'D's on our foreheads? A scarlet 'D' stitched to our shirtsleeves? Well, I never.
***
I had a very productive day on Facebook today. I reconnected with a high school boyfriend (who has twins now and seems to have grown up waaaay to much for my taste) and my freshman year college roommate at Sarah Lawrence. I think if she didn't live on the other side of the country we'd be friends.
posted by Oy Vey at 7:07 PM
3 Comments:
I agree about the divorced thing. I hate saying I'm divorced. It feels like admiting failure. You kind of assume whoever you disclose this information to is wondering whose "fault" it was that we are no longer married. But those people who might wonder woulnd't know me very well, obviously, so I shouldn't care what they think. (People who know me know that it was TOTALLY HIS FAULT! heh.)
Maria
Delurking to say that I also think it's ridiculous that, until the day I die, my legal status will be "divorced" unless I remarry. That my legal status exists only in relation to a tie that lost any meaning for me a decade ago. If that's the only annoyance I have to put up in regards to my ex, well then I'm pretty lucky. But it's annoying nonetheless.
Thank god it's not just me. I agree with you, Panda, if that's the worst of it, so be it.
And Maria: OF COURSE IT WAS. You're preachin' to the choir, sister!
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