W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: Oh For Fucks Sake.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Oh For Fucks Sake.

I got my first Match.com 'Hey You Two Are Compatible!' email.

And if friggin' Blogger would let me post a .tiff, I'd put the pic on here...but it won't, so you'll have to just picture this:

A PICTURE OF A JACKASS IN A FREAKIN' SOMBRERO that says [something] 'FROG' on it. And he's drinking something through a straw. And it's next to a picture of me! GAHH!

And without giving away the poor bastard's username identity, let's just say his moniker is something along the lines of 'StpdAsshl' - if Dr. Phil would allow such a thing. I'm. So. Not. Even. Kidding.

And while we're on the subject, someone expert in such things please explain the following to me:

1. Why do so many guys use 'Philly' in their username, e.g. 'PhillyGuy42' or 'NwGyinPhilly'?
2. Are these people so unoriginal that they must pick a username that 672 people have already taken, like 'Phillyguy673' or 'Jake42' or 'Lumpy62'?

(Lumpy62? You mean to tell me there are already 61 other Lumpys? God help us. God help us all.)

3. Why the disproportionate number of guys into SCUBA? I just don't believe that this many men in Philly are SCUBA divers. Do they think that SCUBA is somehow alluring? If you admit to being a semi-couch potato it's fine, boys. Most ladies aren't professional divers or rock scramblers by trade. We just watch about that shit on Bravo.

4. Why did I do this again? Someone please remind me.

I've been 'winked at' about a dozen times in the last 24 hours. Mostly by fat guys with goatees who 'don't want to be lonly [sic] any longer' or who 'aren't picky about women'...GAH. (Thanks, GG. Good word. Let's petition to add that sucker to Oxford as soon as we get the chance...)...

[Audible sob. Audible gulp of cab sav].


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