It's Friday. And That's The Title of this Post.
I’d normally be the last person to defend Cheney, but someone needs to speak up over this Contract Rider Kerfluffle. I mean, he is the VP and all. I just have a couple of comments about this.
Only a Queen or King Size Bed is Acceptable: Understandable. Lynn’s night terrors cause flailing. They need their space.
The Room is at 68 Degrees: No higher, no lower. Understandable. His shrunken ageing wolfheart is highly sensitive to temperature extremes. However, it must be kept in a cryogenic stasis in the minibar when he’s not using it.
Four Diet Sprites: He really didn’t strike me as a Four Diet Sprites kind of guy (Diet Sprite's so bubbly and clear!), but I suppose that’s more reasonable than Britney’s Cool Ranch Doritos line.
Two Bottles of Perrier: For the Missus. Classy dame, she is. Wait a second…Perrier is Fr-[REDACTED]
All Lights Must Be Turned On Upon Arrival: Aww, that’s precious! One of the Seven Horsemen is afraid of the dark! That’s just about the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Would someone send this man a Teletubbies nightlight?
Location of the Ice Maker: Just in case there’s no room in the minibar.
However, there is one demand that truly shows Dick is a diva.
T.V. Must Be Tuned to Fox News: We all used to joke about Fox being on at the White House all the time, but now we know it’s true. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Blecgh. It’s just so…vulgar.
I need some coffee.
So off I go Boston to visit my own Shorty McCool, whom I will christen Camille*. Camille and I met at Mayer, Brown & Hell** a gazillion years ago in D.C. Good Times. Good Times. I'm hoping we can get together with J, another MB&H veteran. There's sure to be lots of gossip and lots of smoking. Because that's what we do when we three get together.
Red, I was going to send you a shout out to see if you wanted to meet up considering we'll be in spittin' distance, but I fear I'm going to be bogged down in visitin' and whatnot. Next time for sure!
*Camille is the name of SMcCII's spirit guide. Mine is Maddy. In a past life, her daughter and I were sisters and laundresses in Victorian England. She was a grave digger. Her job is much better now.
**This is a moniker and bears no resemblance whatsover to any actual law firm living or deceased.
Only a Queen or King Size Bed is Acceptable: Understandable. Lynn’s night terrors cause flailing. They need their space.
The Room is at 68 Degrees: No higher, no lower. Understandable. His shrunken ageing wolfheart is highly sensitive to temperature extremes. However, it must be kept in a cryogenic stasis in the minibar when he’s not using it.
Four Diet Sprites: He really didn’t strike me as a Four Diet Sprites kind of guy (Diet Sprite's so bubbly and clear!), but I suppose that’s more reasonable than Britney’s Cool Ranch Doritos line.
Two Bottles of Perrier: For the Missus. Classy dame, she is. Wait a second…Perrier is Fr-[REDACTED]
All Lights Must Be Turned On Upon Arrival: Aww, that’s precious! One of the Seven Horsemen is afraid of the dark! That’s just about the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Would someone send this man a Teletubbies nightlight?
Location of the Ice Maker: Just in case there’s no room in the minibar.
However, there is one demand that truly shows Dick is a diva.
T.V. Must Be Tuned to Fox News: We all used to joke about Fox being on at the White House all the time, but now we know it’s true. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Blecgh. It’s just so…vulgar.
I need some coffee.
So off I go Boston to visit my own Shorty McCool, whom I will christen Camille*. Camille and I met at Mayer, Brown & Hell** a gazillion years ago in D.C. Good Times. Good Times. I'm hoping we can get together with J, another MB&H veteran. There's sure to be lots of gossip and lots of smoking. Because that's what we do when we three get together.
Red, I was going to send you a shout out to see if you wanted to meet up considering we'll be in spittin' distance, but I fear I'm going to be bogged down in visitin' and whatnot. Next time for sure!
*Camille is the name of SMcCII's spirit guide. Mine is Maddy. In a past life, her daughter and I were sisters and laundresses in Victorian England. She was a grave digger. Her job is much better now.
**This is a moniker and bears no resemblance whatsover to any actual law firm living or deceased.
posted by Oy Vey at 8:45 AM
7 Comments:
Ha! This goes down as one of your funniest posts EVER, little missy.
Have a fantastic, wonderful, rip-roarin' good time in Beantown and come back ready to debrief over some brews with me.
Spirit guide? Didn't you once promise to send me to a psychic that would rock my world?
Four Diet Sprites.
Perhaps the aspertame (sp?) calms the evil within?
Agreed with GG -- this was VERY funny.
Have a great time! MB & H - brilliant.
Brilliant.
I didn't realise anyone actually watched Fox. They show it here in the middle of the night, and it is the most insane telly I've ever seen.
Yeah, I was gonna say, next time, DEFINITELY left me know! That would be so fun. You better bring Guinness Girl with you! And let me know what you guys end up doing this weekend--I hope you have a blast!
Wait...really? It's a moniker? I really thought for a second that I worked in the Michigan office of that firm.
Stupid arseholes.
Thank you thank you. I'll be here all week.
Jurg: & Platt? & Rowe?
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