W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: Long Lost Ulysses.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Long Lost Ulysses.

Ok, so I watched Julie and Julia last night and felt all bloggy and sentimental and whatnot. Last week or so, a reader stopped by Canary 2 and mentioned that I hadn't blogged in quite a while. So I feel I owe it to you, dear invisible/non-existent readers and to myself to detox/exhale for a moment. What a good excuse to drink some wine and turn on the iPod whilst I pen to thou.

Damn. It has been a while. Sorry, My Two Readers. Maybe you have gone too. Nonetheless, I am writing to you, Vast Universe. You do not have to respond, nor even read this. It's just a good thing to unwind and hell if I just need to do it. I've missed you, Blogspot. Long story short. Waah.

So. Where to start. This could be one very long post.

SFG and I have:

moved into my/our house in GHo, but I think you already knew this. His condo finally is under contract which means we will finally be able to purchase this place from Mr. X and Me- I know, a semi-complicated transaction, but I can't help thinking this sort of thing must occur all the time- an ex purchasing a property with the New One from themselves and their ex, yes? Hopefully all of this legal shit will go smoothly and we will get a nice rate on the mortgage. All that paying bills on time thing hopefully wasn't for nothing.

set a date for the wedding! Yay and so much more exciting than real estate legalities. October 23 at The Palomar, here in Philly, of course. Will you come? I promise if you read this and contact me through another email than the one listed in the comments section, I will send you an invite. It is sure to be an actual wedding that is fun. We are having that Beatles cover band (shhh!) and my dress is short and I'm wearing red shoes* and the wedding invites look like 45s (shhh!). The festivities are punctuated with a honeymoon in Maui, well, for SFG and me at least. Can't wait, because, literally the only way I can relax is to physically be 1000s of miles away from The Canary. Hence New Zealand! I love you, Martha! xxoo!

And while we are discussing the wedding, I will add - and only because this is a blog that no one is actually reading - that I am, yet again, disappointed and sad that my own mother is so self-involved that she acts like she has no interest in the fact that I am getting married or moving on with my life for real for real post-Mr. X or any of that.

"Hi Mom, we set a date for Oct 23 at the Palomar!"
"Really? That's great! ...I'm at Tuesday Morning with a bunch of junk in my cart...."

Sigh. Really, come drink my wine. Eat my grouper. Dance to a little help from My Friends. Congratulations would be nice but are most definitely not expected. I will just never get her. We are the Tori/Candy of the Southside of Chicago. har har har. Why is it that I continue to expect? And expect? And expect?

....as opposed to SFG's mom, who is so incredibly excited about The Wedding that she wasted no time, and I mean no time whatsoever, in emailing Daximus, my MOH/DPP** with all things OyeySFGNuptials-related. Which is actually a really nice change of pace. Dax, if you are even reading this these days god help you and thank you, but really, thank you for everything you've done and are about to do in the next eight months. Which I promise won't be much but will still be eternally appreciated. Hugs and kisses.

SFG's Mom is very concerned about what the colors are, because she doesn't want to clash with the colors. The colors...the colors...the colors....I told her as long as she didn't wear hot pink or chartreuse I was sure she was fine and should wear what makes her feel beautiful. Appropriate response, because honestly, I didn't know what else to say? Colors?

Canary 2 is going well. We did a Groupon which boosted sales at the second location considerably. Will I keep it after the year lease? I honestly don't know. It was a lot of work to put together, but it needs to make some money to make it worthwhile and frankly, I don't bake cupcakes to make people happy, I bake them to make money, so. We will see. I am no longer romantic about creating cakes to make people smile. I am NOT Meryl Streep in that new sap-monster movie where she gets divorced and then regrets it, or whatever **** This triple net thing sucks, that much I can tell you.

Not having to deal with a lof of the normal commercial lease shit at The Circus that I do at Canary 2, I have come to appreciate The Circus a whole lot more. I actually have quite a bit of leeway at The Circus. I have been there for 4 years withouth a significant lease increase. There is no triple net.*** I am on the Board, and that actually kinda sorta means something in the little universe that is The Circus, which means I can help out those other vendors who don't think anything they do has matters. Those bastards know I am not fucking around. Capische? I just really like that word. ha. Lease isn't up til September, so I've got some time. I still don't know how I feel about this Garces joint opening up across the street....

Hmmm...what else to tell you? Maybe I better call it day, spellcheck and let this bastard go out to the universe. But I am truly enjoying this time with you, me, my blue iPod, and blogger. I don't want to let it go just yet. Especially now that I know that no one is reading....

...so by the way, what was with those Russian ice dancers? Have a modicum of tact, why don't you? I may have a tattoo of a Maori cupcake dancing, but geez, it's not like I display it to 300 million people while I'm competing for a gold medal or anything. Geez.

What else to tell you, Silent Universe? It's really all been about selling/buying the house/condo, Canary 2, and wedding stuff. The funny thing was that SFG and I were really in this rut because we were waiting for that damn fucking condo to sell (can you glean my feeling about that fucking place? Don't even get me started!) and we felt we couldn't plan the wedding until the place sold because shit, we couldn't pay for that damn Beatles cover band. But we went to look at the Palomar and just loved it and decided to go for it on Thursday, and on Friday, literally, someone put an offer on it. It was like the Universe had decided to play chicken with us and we won. It was super cool. So you better come because it's going to be fun. I will make damn sure of that.

I hope you hear from me soon.

*I don't care if anyone knows I'm wearing red shoes. I don't think they'd be surprised, honestly. I vaguely recall Shana Maidel mentioning her mom saying a woman who wears red shoes is loose, but I will chalk this up to an old school Southern thing and let it go. I love you, Shana!

**Designated Point Person
*** triple net - when the leaseholder pays a portion of the landlord's property taxes, liability insurance and other shit therewich they designate one pays because you are their bitch because you have signed your first born away should you break the contract.
**** I do not even wear pearl necklaces when I go in and bake*****. And I promise you, dear readers, no baker worth their salt, is going to roll out, by hand, a fucking croissant. Do you hear me? We all buy them frozen and bake them off- hence 'fresh-baked'. Capische?
***** Pearl earrings, yes.


Blogger Christine said...

HA. I love you and miss you and if I weren't pretending to work (and it wasn't 11pm already) I would call you up for a visit. I just had to yell at my husband's friend who STOLE my freakin Sunchips. Dude, you don't live here. Ask ME, the person who pays for the groceries and buys herself treats if you may have some. Thanks. Also, it was a freaking full bag and it is probably empty now.

I am whiny and hormonal, clearly.

I do not get your mom. Tony was excited about the promise of Beatles music. I am excited, period.

2/27/2010 11:27 PM  
Blogger Joanna said...

Hi, I feel the need to delurk. I'm a friend of Martha's and I obsessively read when you update. I even went so far as to somehow figure out via google where the Canary was so I could look for pictures of baked products. I like pictures of baked goods, and also your wedding plans sound fantastic. I like wedding plans as well. Now I sound creepy. I think that's probably a fair introduction to me.

2/28/2010 12:35 AM  
Blogger Oy Vey said...

Christine, you are a freaking riot. Jesus, why does do the responsible ones always need to be the effing Sunchips Police? That is just not right. You need to come over and see the house! But maybe wait til the furniture arrives. Or not. I have lived without furniture for so long that I no longer have any shame about not having any furniture.

Hi Joanna!

Not creepy whatsoever. You are the second delurker in two weeks, and frankly I am flattered. Especially flattered that you research/googled about me and didn't just ask Martha herself. The hard work paid off, I hope. I love it! My next package to NZ will have you in mind.

Ok, off to the Flower Show. I have sprinkled myself with holy water and am about to put on my battle suit.

2/28/2010 7:14 AM  
Blogger sarah said...

hey hey, it's meeee - sarah that is, in glasgow. i still check up on you! i have been meaning to email you to find out whether you'd moved and the address and all, cos i want to send you something. i'm headed for LA in under 6 weeks, for about 5 weeks. recording. hurrah.

3/01/2010 8:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats, congrats, congrats! And, if I may be so bold, Tori ain't missing nuthin'- and neither are you.

Much love from everyone's favorite great lake!

3/02/2010 10:04 PM  
Blogger Mel Archer said...

Oh yay! so good to see you back! and good luck with all the remaining wedding plans...

3/03/2010 2:55 AM  
Blogger Pollyanna_H said...

Congratulations and happy wedding planning!

I lurk on your blog (not recently obviously, but I have been checking ...)since I first read about you on Martha's blog (I live in Wellington and sometimes shop at Wanda Harland)

Happy 2010, anyway!

3/04/2010 3:03 AM  
Blogger Shana Maidel said...

i am soooo ROFL!!!!!! red shoes are trashy, not loose, but i suppose she who wears red shoes can easily be both trashy and loose. dear lord i am glad i read your footnotes on this one!!!

btw, i own red shoes too.

3/08/2010 11:32 AM  

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