W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Moi, Toi, et VoI: City of Brotherly Love MY ASS.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

City of Brotherly Love MY ASS.

Yesterday I spent 3 hours in the parking lot of Superfresh because my friggin car refused to start. It would turn over and then stall out. And then I realized that this little light of a little car with a key on the dashboard was blinking. After searching through the 6 different manuals (or "The Chronicles of Jetta"), I figured out that the car was not recognizing my key. WTF? It "thought" it was a fake key, like I was trying steal my own fucking car. So I call VW, and they tell me that the battery in my key is probably dead. The battery in my key? Why on god's green earth does a key require a battery? You don't fuck with key technology; it's old school. It's like the networkless BSG (shout out to y'all!! Can't wait for Friday!)...it's just better when it's simpler. So anyway, I'm stranded in the parking lot and really the whole point of this rant is to say that not a single human being bothered to ask me if I needed any help. Even the Superfresh cart shepherd who would come by every 15 minutes to corral the carts strewn around wouldn't look in my direction as I'm trying to start the car over and over and over again...you selfish bastards, you.

So....it actually turned out not to be the key battery after all but the whole fuckin electrical system which totally pisses me off because this car is 5 years old and it's been treated so tenderly all these years. Jettas suck. Do not buy one. They are cute and their urban-hipsterness may lure you in, but resist, friends, resist. Oh, did I mention that it was just at the dealership the day before because the fucking window fell into the door!!!!! Nick Drake should be rolling in his grave for shilling for such a crappy piece of crap. Crapcrapcrap!

Okay, now getting back to bigger things: did I hear correctly last night on the World Service that Cheney was coming down to New Orleans with 24,000 bodybags in tow? I can think of few things more gruesome than that picture. No wonder I couldn't sleep. The Grim Reaper on Air Force Two. Positively ghoulish! So that's where he's been all this time: he's The Crypt Keeper!

Lest we forget: Cheney at Auschwitz Anniversary....What a dick!

Thank you thank you. I'll be here all week.


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